Husband to be being picky on his ring

Hello Chelsea - this is deja vu!! Your fiance sounds JUST like my husband. We looked for rings for MONTHS . . . in stores and online, and he just couldn't make a decision. Literally, he looked at every men's ring option online. I'm not exaggerating. I was over it!! LOL! I was stressed out about it for a while, but I finally decided I wouldn't stress. I told him that if push came to shove, I'd buy him a cheap gold band for the wedding and pictures just to get by if he didn't find one in time for the wedding. Surprisingly, 2 months before the wedding, he found a ring he liked (actually, it was the very first ring we ever looked at more than 8 months prior) and ordered it. FINALLY!!! (I think my "threat" of simply getting him a basic band for the wedding until he found what he liked made his butt jump into gear. LOL). And guess what, he doesn't even wear that ring most days -- he wears his silicone ring. LOL!

My husband wasn't very involved in the planning either. However, he did enjoy being a part of the food and cake tastings and selections and picking out his attire. Honestly though, he may have been just as surprised at our wedding as our guests were. LOL!

It's going to be his ring he is going to be wearing, you want him to love the ring. I think it's fine if he is picky. Maybe have a ring custom made for him. My fiance was picky about what he wanted, he finally found one he loves and he doesn't want to wait till the wedding to wear it that's how much he loves it. I'm so happy he found the perfect ring. As far as planning, my fiance doesn't plan on his own. To be honest I don't know many men who really do a whole lot of planning for their wedding or at least do tasks without being given them. I give my fiance tasks to do for the wedding and he does them but other than that he won't go and do it himself.

It doesn't really sound like he doesn't know what he wants. To me, it sounds more like he knows exactly what he wants, but he isn't finding it. Maybe go to a local jeweler and price out how much it would cost to make him something like that? He may jump at the price and be able to move on to a different vision or it could be affordable and he gets the ring he truly wants. He's going to be wearing it every day for the rest of his life, so it's only fair he gets something he really loves.

Could you talk to a local jeweler to see if something like what he wants can even be done and the cost to have it made custom?


As for the planning part, my husband helped mostly with the DJ and food/cake, but he also helped me choose invites, put the invites together, and create the centerpieces.

Let him pick out his own ring. Let him search and find what he wants. My husband bought both of our rings secondhand both very gently used. Mine brand new still in box. My husband had showed me a beautiful ring that was a great price but the problem was it was silver. I want gold. Im not a picky person but I had to tell him thank u but no. Im indian. I wear gold and I have a thing about wearing gold & silver at the same time. Dumb iknow but I wouldn’t be happy with a silver ring. Anyways about my husband he doesn’t have a typical wedding band. He has a huge ring with a bunch of diamonds. Its like a old school gangsta looking ring. He loves it. I wouldn’t have found anything
that he would have liked. He came home w the ring on his own and there wouldn’t have been a better scenario because he got exactly what he wanted.

This sounds like the ring I got for my fiancé engagement right. I got it at Kay's

Have a custom ring made to his preference. It's a very common practice for jewelers.

My FH is wonderful and helps with cooking, cleaning, etc without complaint. However he didn't help with the wedding for a while. We finally had a talk about it, and he said he didn't want to help because he didn't understand what to do or what my vision was or how to make wedding decisions. So now I give him discrete tasks with specific directions: put the guest addresses in the spreadsheet, email these 5 photographers asking for availability and a quote, write these 15 shower thank you notes based on this template, choose between these 3 invite styles. It has worked much better

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ALL OF THIS.

I was so picky about my engagement ring, I was the one who did all of the leg work on it (it frustrated him to no end that I didn't just want to pick something new), because he knew I was the one who had to wear it. I also had a vision in my head about the band, so I went custom for it and I got exactly what I want.

His was a lot easier, but mainly because we went to the same jeweler who did my custom band, and he picked out some things he liked, and they're customizing to be (almost) exactly what he wanted. He wanted a light palladium (as far as weight, not color), but that wasn't an option so he went with light platinum. But when he figured out what he wanted, it was a ring that only came in white gold, a metal that wasn't an option, and something else that ended up being backordered. They ordered a couple options for him (just based on timing), and they'll finish it so that he gets almost exactly what he wanted.

As far as helping with planning - he's been super involved. Yes, I am the one managing the list, but he does have opinions on almost everything and is handling things that I just can't.

His ring is at home. I just thought I would send a picture. Theres no way I would have picked this out on my own. 4 rows of little diamonds its big like a superbowl ring lol & textured on the side

My husband had a specific idea in mind for his ring and he couldn't find it anywhere. He ended up purchasing on online from somewhere really cheap, but it looked like what he wanted. As for helping with planning, I would give him options. For example, I sent him via email a list of music choices broken down into categories. See below for how I did it. He then told me which song he liked for each category and that's the song we went with.

Recessional Song
1. All of Me by John Legend
2. This Is It by Scotty McCreery
3. From the Ground Up by Dan + Shay

Reception Introduction Song for Parents and Bridal party
1. Time of My Life by Black Eyed Peas
2. Love Somebody by Maroon 5
3. We Found Love by Rihanna and Calvin Harris

Reception Introduction Song for Us
1. 24k Magic by Bruno Mars
2. Raise Your Glass by Pink
3. Timber by Kesha and Pitbull
4. Feel This Moment by Pitbull and Christina Aguilera
5. Without You by David Guetta and Usher

Cake Cutting

1. Sugar by Maroon 5
2. Sugar, Sugar by The Archie

Re the ring


Check out independent jewelers. Their prices aren't marked up as big box retailers. I've seen jewelers that specialize in men's rings that allow for a lot of customization, and your FH's ring sounds very doable.
If you can't find what he wants, I'd look into custom. The design fee costs about $300 to $500 in my area, then you pay for the cost of the materials.
Re the wedding planning, tell your FH to step up or the wedding isn't happening. Hosting a wedding should be a joint effort, and it's a lot of money.

Maybe check out https://revolutionjewelry.com/

That's where I got my FH's ring. They have a ton of styles available plus customization options out the wazoo! You can also place the order before knowing the actual size and they'll send you a set of sizers so you can figure it out before the ring is made. I bought FH's ring during their Black Friday sale and the total price after tax was around $440. It would have been around $500 if I hadn't bought it during the sale. I'm not sure if exactly what you're looking for is something they can do, but it's always worth checking!

As for help... my FH seems to think he's horrible at planning things so he's basically leaving it up to me. I've been getting ideas together and then bringing them to him so we can pick out what we both like. He's basically in charge of the stuff relating to his groomsmen and I'm doing just about everything else. To be fair, I have planned many weddings for friends before and it isn't stressful for me at all. Our venue is also pretty all-inclusive (minus cake and photographer), so past picking our menu options and linen colors there isn't a whole ton that we have to worry about.

Try etsy. Here's one but it has black diamond which I'm sure they'll be more than happy to replace. I have bought a lot of custom pieces of jewelry from etsy. I'm actually going to purchase one of my wedding bands from there.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/678705784/14k-rose-gold-wedding-band-with-black?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=hammered+diamond+mens+ring&ref=sr_gallery-1-27&organic_search_click=1&frs=1

I agree with others who recommend a local jeweler make a custom ring for it. It sounds like he has a clear vision that they can execute for him. With planning, ask him to help with the tasks you know he’ll be interested in or can provide clear direction on: schedule tastings, book hotel blocks, cc him on all of your emails so he can respond instead of you!

My fiance is also very picky. At this point, we got him a black silicone ring from Groove - and someday when he decides what he actually wants for a "real ring," we will get him one. Until then, he will at least have his silicone one for the wedding ceremony so I can put a ring of some kind on his finger.

I think hammered + diamonds is an uncommon mix. He may have to choose if he’d rather have a hammer band or diamonds in the band. He can get that semi-matte finish with a brushed band (instead of the hammered band). If you haven’t already, check out Verragio. Their rings are made to order, so will take a bit longer from order to arrival. But you are able to do a lot of customization and mix/match design elements. And as you’ll see in the link below, they can do two-tone rings (rose gold inside, white or yellow gold outside).


https://www.verragio.com/Verragio-Wedding-Rings/Mens-Wedding-Rings

Have patience, he’s just taking his time finding the perfect ring to wear for the rest of his life. You guys will find it soon.

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Thats so funny ! My ring is a verragio and we have been looking but they dont offer both diamond and hammered.

No tips for the rings (I have never seen a ring like what you describe, and imagine you would need to have one custom made to have all three of those desired features).

However, for our wedding planning, we split responsibilities based on our interests and strengths. He was in charge of music/DJ, alcohol/bartender, and men's wedding party attire, while I took the lead on florals, photography, decor, and most other on the other aspects of the wedding. There were some things we did mostly in tandem - like selecting our food and venue - and we ran ideas by the other person and always made final decisions together. I was the primarily coordinator and logistical vendor and generally the "go to" person for all of our vendors, but even just taking a few things off my plate and making them "his" was helpful. It made everything feel like "our" wedding vision and saved me a little legwork and stress.