Hurting peoples' feelings...

I upset a few people because they were not invited. I reminded said people this is not their wedding and bitching at me will not put them on the guest list any faster. This is your day, not theirs. If people do not wanna come because of location..oh well..few less you have to feed. Do not stress others feelings, just yours. Just simply say "im sorry it bothers you but it is just how it is" I refuse to let my wedding be an event that caters to everyone else but me and FH.

I got over that in the first couple months, bc you can't please everyone. Its your day and if that is what you and your FH want then that is all that matters! You will have a blast and screw what other ppl think, you didn't bitch and moan and tell them how to plan their wedding....just sayin lol

My motto has always been if you dont feed me, F**K me or finance me then keep movin your a** right along. Take no prisoners!

OMG!!!!!!! Get out of my head!!!!! My FH and I were having this EXACT conversation last night and I was going to post something here to vent!!! My FH got a really nasty text message from a former co-worker of his that we didn't invite to the wedding {{mind you we haven't seen this girl in like 3 yrs}}. Apparently she saw some pics on FB that my friend's posted of my bridal shower and now she's all upset because she didn't get invited to the wedding. Truth is, the reason why she didn't get an invite is because I got laid off from my job last October and we had to cut about 20 people from the guest list. She happened to be one of the 20. Of course, she didn't want to hear that. People don't care about the $$ you're spending or the stress you're dealing with. They only care about getting what they want, whether if its an invite, a change of location or adding/removing folks from the guestlist. I've gotten to the point where I'm telling everyone who has something to say, "F*CK and THAT".

"My motto has always been if you dont feed me, F**K me or finance me then keep movin your a** right along. Take no prisoners!"

Love this one Amy!!!!

The audacity of some people! How dare you not invite those who throw temper tantrums! What's wrong with you?!

But seriously, I don't understand people sometimes. It's your wedding, invite (or don't) who you want to. If your parents have a problem with it, maybe distance them from some of the wedding planning but include them in others...like cake tasting. Who doesn't like tasting cake? Anytime a conversation starts up about something that stresses you out, change the subject politely. Only deal with the people who really matter to you - your parents, closest friends, FH, siblings, etc. - and don't stress yourself out over other people. Those who want to come to your wedding will drive that hour between ceremony and reception sites. Those who don't, well like Susan said, at least then you don't have to pay to feed them! I'm actually praying that at least 40 of the people we invite won't show up! If they show yay, if not, oh well. Less people to worry about.

We have actually kept our planning a secret until recently bcuz my husbands immediate family isnt invited. They have never liked me (I am 9 years older) and made our lives miserable for awhile so our feeling is since they dont support the marriage they dont need to be there. I am sure once the invites go out and they dont get one we will hear about it but until then the less info that is out there the less craploa I have to listen to. People will just have to live with what we decide and thats that!

Amy W! I sooo love your motto, as a matter of fact it will be my FB status for the day

Part of the issue is that I understand other peoples' concerns and in some ways... I have to figure out what's most important to me.

My mom is mentally ill (seriously) and doesn't want her sister's family there. That really hurts me in a lot of ways and I don't really know how to deal with it. She has threatened she won't come if I invite her sister and I wouldn't put it past her to follow through. I can't pick my aunt over my mom, that's obvious, but it still hurts a lot.

Also because of my mom, she won't travel for the bridal shower. My best friend is planning an amazing shower but my fiance's mother wants to have a second one where most of their family is 'cause a lot of his family won't be able to come to the shower in NJ. My best friend is hurt by it 'cause she's putting a lot of time and money into it - she hasn't come out and said it, but as her best friend, I can tell. And I get it, I would be a little upset too. But again, my mom is putting me in a really tough spot.

So as much as other people are making things difficult, my mom is really making things worse. But she means a lot to me and I love her, so I'm trying to deal. It just makes me want to cry sometimes.

Wow, it sounds like you need to sit everyone down and talk to them to let them know how you feel. Your mom/aunt situation sound like my mother/ father situation. My mother said she won't come if he does and I haven't told her he's coming but if she doesn't I'm learning to accept that.

I know the feeling I lost a friend do to the fact that she is not in the wedding party and get this I haven't even started planning yet. Now FH friend has asked if he was invited and in the wedding party lol People can be very stupid to ask those type of questions. I told FH you need to step up and tell him no cause I don't have a problem doing it.

It's your day and at the end of the day you make the choice

I have gotten so many "so, am i invited?" and honestly- I would love to invite every freakin person I know, i love having big parties and i'd love my wedding to be the biggest of all. but when i can only afford to have about 100 people at my wedding and 70 of those are family, i can't invite a whole lot more. I've just been telling people, "I don't know yet." (which only works for me because my wedding is over a year away and the only thing we have booked is the venue.)

I'm sorry thing are being difficult- but try to remember it's your wedding and you can do what you want. as for your mom and aunt- maybe explain to your aunt, and have a special dinner together the night after or something. if she has grown up with your mom she will probably understand.