How young is too young?

I don't believe in there being any age requisite to get married (as an adult, obviously) but it is a huge decision and personally if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't be in any rush.

I have been with my husband since I was 17 and already at 18 I wanted to move in together and marry him. He proposed to me after 5 years together when I was 22 and we only married when I was 24 and in hindsight, I really appreciated that timeline because it allowed me to mature (more than I thought I had at 18 or 20) and take things at my pace.

I don't think you are necessarily too young to be getting married, but speaking as someone who was a mature 19 year old once and thought I knew everything, it definitely doesn't hurt to take things slow and let life simmer.

It shouldn’t matter what we junk Scarlett, if you both know what you want and that you both are really in it for everything it’s for go for it. I would recommend marriage counseling or couples counseling before actually getting married not that anything is wrong in the relationship but the better understand your partner and learn how to deal with things when they come up in the future that would usually end in divorce. As long as you both are the legal age to marry go for it. And congratulations on the engagement

I agree that there is no age requirement for marriage, it just kind of depends on your own personal maturity as well as your relationship. I am not 25 and I feel like I am a completely different person than I was when I was 19. I was so immature and had no idea what I wanted. And maybe you're different, which is completely fine.

For us, I wanted to be together a few years and we had to be graduated and both have good and reliable jobs before living together or getting engaged.

But if you both feel confident in your relationship then there is nothing wrong with that.

The couples I know who got married at about 18-20 have told me that they were different people when they got married than they were 5, 10, or 20 years later, but that they grew together and supported eachother as they experienced life. That is true in every marriage but it is especially true when you get married that young.




I don't think you are too young. That being said, you should walk into marriage with your eyes wide open to your strengths and flaws (and your partners), be fully committed to putting in the work to maintain your relationship after marriage, and make sure you are on the same page about major life decisions and views (in particular, potential children or the lack thereof). Someone else already said, marriage counseling is great for all couples so it might be something you consider.

View Quoted Comment I agree 100%!!

It all depends on the person. My fiancé and I started dating at 19. We’re getting married in October at 27. We weren’t in any rush. We went to separate colleges and he was doing his masters so financially we couldn’t live together until almost 2 years ago. But I am not the same person I was at 19. Most people I know that had relationships that young didn’t last but that doesn’t mean yours won’t. I would just advise to sit and have A LOT of serious conversations about life. Do you want kids and how do you want to raise them? Different parenting styles etc. How many kids is ideal for you? If one of you changes your mind is it a deal breaker? Where you both want to live and if it’s negotiable. How you want to handle money etc etc. I would say most people change their minds on things like this as they get older and have more life experience or learn more about themselves and what they want out of life. For instance at 19 I was SURE I wanted kids and lately I haven’t been super for it. We’ve changed our minds on where we want to live 17 times. I would just make sure you’re on the same page before getting married. I find a lot of people don’t sit and think that far out and then when these things come up they realize they’re not on the same page.

Only you can really make this decision for yourself. As others have said, there are a of things you want to really think through to decide if you are ready to get married. Personally, I wouldn't want to get married at 19 or 20. Even though I moved out and was independent at that age, I am still such a different person from who I was at that age. From a scientific standpoint, our brains go through the most development at 2 time points: early childhood and adolescence. The second one is when our frontal lobe, the one responsible for decision-making and our personality, etc is going through the most growth and change. This development typically stops around 25 years old. That's 1 of the reasons why so many people look back at their teenage and early adulthood years and see so much change: because there was. Some people who get married young grow together and continue to share similar values and such. Other people don't. And there is nothing wrong with those who grow apart as they mature. There's just no way to tell the future. I guess my biggest question would be: what's the rush? My husband and I knew each other in high school, started dating at 23, and got married at 29. I'm happy that we were together for so long prior to marriage because we were able to naturally have so many of the conversations about the future and values and goals on numerous occasions before deciding that marriage was right for us.

Well, only you and your spouse know your relationship. But, it does sound like you're quite mature in self-refecting. I agree with the above posters on couples counseling for third-party's assistance in communication and life planning. I can tell you I was not mature for such things until my 40s! My husband and I had our own achievements and assets before we got together, and we are still learning about each other and what marriage is all about. Honestly, no one knows until they do it! I probably undervalue my marriage relying on my independence and he is more stubborn with compromise. But, two people willing to work together is real partnership no matter the age. I wish you two the best.

View Quoted Comment My fiancé and I have been together since high school age 16-17, engaged this year 22-23 and will be getting married the end of this year. We also were very mature 19 year olds and I do agree that letting life simmer and sink in a bit could be beneficial. I see nothing wrong with young marriage as long as they're adults but taking a few more years to mature and learn even more before marriage could be good for the both of you.

I'm no expert, but I feel pretty strongly about this subject so I hope this advice is useful!

I don't think it has so much to do with your personal level maturity and experience with the relationship, but I think more-so to do with "growing up" if you will.

You will be surprised how drastically different you are at 26 than 22. If I had married when I was 22 or younger, I would certainly be divorced by now. My goals, ambitions, and personality have changed so much since then. I think there are certainly successful marriages at young ages, but I'd recommend taking pre-marital counseling and fully understanding the concept of growing together.

I would recommend counseling 100%, you both sound mature but I will mimic the other ladies when I say you're both going to continue to grow, change and develop different facets of your personality. Be sure you're able to grow together and not apart. Pre-marital counseling will give you a solid foundation, my fiancé and I are going through faith based pre-marital counseling right now and I love it. Move at your own pace there is no rush but if you both are ready for that commitment go for it! I wish you both the absolute best!

There is no way I personally would have been ready for marriage at 19 but that doesn't mean you aren't. I think if you're nervous about the age or questioning whether too young, then there are enough doubts to warrant a longer engagement as well as pre-marital counseling.

The only "too young" there is, is if you get married younger than the legal age lol. I got married at 18 the first time around (I grew up Mormon) and I wasn't too young persay...just chose the wrong person. My mom got married to my dad when she was 20, and they are still together and totally gross (make out in the hallway and hold hands while watching tv)

I wonder if the culture at the college adds "pressure" to get married. Your situation seems better since you have known each other even before college. It seems like a decent situation for you two, but you might also add a little counseling.

I really wanted the topic about a 15 year old getting a wedding dress though.

If we go by science and what researchers say, they recommend you don’t get engaged or married before the age of 25 as your frontal cortex is still developing up until that point and that houses your main critical thinking. Personally, so long as both parties are over the age of 18 and are consenting adults then it is fine. I met my fiancé back freshmen year of college when we were both 18. We dated for 7 years before he proposed and we planned a 2 year engagement. We would have done it right out of college but he was attempting to get into the military reserves and wanted to wait until his training was fully completed. 3 years and a major heart surgery later he gave up on enlisting and that’s why we finally got engaged. We’re doing a long engagement due to us paying for the wedding, but each couple is unique. Again so long as everyone is consenting adults I don’t think it matters.

View Quoted Comment

Go by the science or the math?

The formula is you take your age and subtract 7 then double that result. The oldest a 22 year old should date is 30. In the other direction is to take half your age and add 7. A thirty year old can date a 22 year old. It almost makes sense but I don't think it is scientific.

View Quoted Comment Unless I read wrong I believe that the bride and groom are both 19 years old. Also I don’t think it’s an age gap question but a when is it to early to get married question. I could totally be wrong though. My response is my personal opinion in regards to what the minimum age someone should be to be able to get married is.


Like in TN the legal age to get married is now something like 12 years old. That right there is too young to get married in my opinion as that human is not yet a legal adult.
Science, psychology specifically, has found that the frontal cortex doesn’t finish developing until your 25th year of life. Because of this, your decision making skills aren’t fully formed yet as that is your impulse control center. This is one of the reasons people start to “settle down” after this point in life.
Her mother said that she personally believes that people should wait till they’re almost 30 years old to tie the knot because they will have settled into who they are as a person as well as decision making skills are improved.

View Quoted Comment Sorry. I confused the issue. It probably would be better at least to get through a couple years beyond college age for marriage. I think especially where there is this cultural pressure around them to do that. However, individual couples may work out. But to wait a couple more years may also satisfy one's mother here or you might not hear the end of it whenever some trouble arises.

View Quoted Comment All good, that issue is also a pretty good one to discuss too. I totally agree with you though. Having a few more adult years under your belt defiantly helps you see and get a better idea of your partner. 🥰