How young is too young for a ring bearer?

It really depends on the child. Some children are more focused than others. Our ringbearer (FH's nephew) is 4. Our flowergirl (our god-daughter) is 5.

My niece will be that age for our wedding and we've decided against having her as flower girl. I have a hard time imagining a 14 month old following instructions and not getting stage fright.

14 months is way too young. At 14 months, they are still very temperamental and cry a lot. His mother will end up carrying him down the aisle.

Ask yourself this-- "Will I find the toddler walking the wrong way cute and endearing, or a sign that my whole wedding has been ruined?" If the first, go for it-- a young ring bearer is almost guaranteed to make some fun memories. If the second, skip it-- I was in a wedding wear a 10 y.o. ring bearer got about 10 feets from the groom, then he *tossed* the ring box*! Luckily, the groom caught it, so it wasn't a huge distraction, but it made me smile.

If you don't care if they actually cooperate for the job then I don't think age matters. However, if you really want them to walk down the aisle and carry the ring pillow or whatever it depends on the child but probably 3-4 years old and up. My ring bearer is 8 and my nephew is carrying a sign and he's 3. He is old enough to understand instructions pretty well but I'm not sure if he'll actually do it. If he doesn't then it's no big deal.

Child attendants are typically between the ages of 3 and 8 (although, depending on what source you are looking at this might vary a little). Our rule of thumb in choosing our child attendants was "if they are too young to understand their purpose in the wedding and be able to remember the occasion, they will not be involved." But everyone is different. If you really want him involved, you can have the flower girl wheel him down in a wagon. If you are concerned about him not being able to walk down the aisle, even with the help of his mom, I wouldn't do it. You should be confident in your decision about all those involved in the wedding, not worrying about it.

My niece will be 13 months at our wedding. We will have another flower girl that's 9, and two ring bearers that are 5 & 7. We are going to have my niece walk with one of them, or her parents carry her as they are part of the bridal party as well. If She ends up walking the wrong way, or screaming then so be it. She's my niece and couldn't imagine her not being in it. As for her not remembering being in it, that's what pictures are for. Plus she will have bragging rights one day when she has cousins that she was in our wedding :-)

I personally wouldn't even do a 3 year old unless they were "mature" for their age. Anything under, you have no idea how the child will react on wedding day. My flower girl and ring bearer are 5 and 6

They are all unpredictable until about age 22 or so. If you're expecting a specific behavior and anything else will ruin your day, then pass.

My son who is going to be 11 months old on my wedding day is going to be our ring bearer. He's going to be pulled down the aisle in a wagon by my fiancées 5 year old daughter.