How would you feel?

My FH and I need to change our wedding plans due to Covid-19. We were originally going to have about 80 guests at our wedding on May 30th, and they would have been pretty equally split between "his" guests and mine. My FH is from the area so his friends and family are all fairly local, but I'm from out of state and have had a more nomadic adult life so those closest to me are spread throughout the country and I typically only see them a few times a year to once every few years. We definitely want to get married on or close to our original date, and we want to have a celebration with those close to us. We considered eloping and pushing off our wedding/reception to a later date, but Covid-19 has impacted our jobs and reduced our income significantly (we don't know for how long), so we are wary of committing all of our saved funds to have an event of the same scale that we originally planned.

My FH suggested just having a smaller, more intimate wedding with our wedding party members and some local guests, that way we could still have a wedding and apply our deposits for venue, food, and photographer towards our event, while only forfeiting the deposits for our DJ, bartending service, and event rentals, which totals under $1000. Our venue doesn't typically do weddings smaller than 60 people, but they would likely try to accommodate us if we wanted to do a small wedding this year given the circumstances. I don't think a small wedding would be an option when Covid-19 finally blows over, just because of the way they are set-up, as it would interfere too much with other "full size, full revenue" weddings and they'll be desperate to make up that lost revenue just like everyone else.

My concern is that if we did a small wedding now, the only people who would actually be able to attend would be my FH's parents and friends, and my mom, MOH, and other VIP guests, most of whom are not local, would not be able to come due to travel restrictions and concerns. I love the idea of a smaller, less expensive, more intimate wedding given the circumstances, but I just can't imagine doing something small and not having the people closest to me there. At the same time, I don't want to just elope and deny his parents the experience of seeing their son married, or him having his groomsmen with him on his wedding day if we can involve guests legally and safely. If we had a small, local wedding, I feel like my only representation would be our officiant, who is my good friend.

It feels really unbalanced and unfair. 95% of our social life revolves around his friends whereas I get to see my favorite people anywhere from a few times a year to once every few years, just because of where everyone is located. Literally the only vision I ever had of my wedding was being able to get all my friends from all the different chapters of my life together in one place to celebrate and have fun, and I was so excited for this one day with all of them. When doing all of my bridal stuff, I did it all alone, and it felt really isolating but I kept telling myself that my mom and best friend would be there on the day it mattered. I picked out my wedding dress by myself and had it for three months in my closet without anyone seeing it until I finally showed it to some coworkers because I just felt so sad about not having anyone to share it with.

I'm so at a loss of what to do. I keep trying to stay positive but I just feel like we are having to compromise so much. I want the day to be special. I know my FH would just get married just the two of us in a heartbeat, and he'd choose me being happy before having guests any day, but I know he wants to involve people if we can can. I just don't know how to give him that without feeling really broken myself when it ends up being a sea of his friends and just a few of mine.