How would you feel?

do you feel like it takes some attention away from yours?

i think it's actually better she booked hers to be after yours instead of before.

It doesn't conflict. She made sure it wasn't on your day. Can you not just be excited? Depending on her guest list, VIPS, chosen venue, that could have been the only date available, or other reasons we can spend forever guessing

Why does it make you angry? Your day will have come an gone by then. Can you not make it?

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Sure, I'm excited, but in a way feel like, let my fiance and I have our time. The other thing is, we had planned on traveling to attend hers and now won't be able to since we'll be on our honeymoon.

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Yes, this is a very good point. It is after. I'd probably feel a lot worse if it was the week before.

She made sure it wasn't the same weekend, so unless you have a LOT of mutual guests who would be traveling for both weddings (meaning many may have to choose which wedding to go to, and wouldn't come to both) then she isn't in the wrong.

That being said, your feelings are valid, I get that you feel that it is too close but you really don't have any ground to stand on to stay mad or take it out on her. If I were you, I would work on processing your feelings (maybe talking and venting to trusted friends) and then moving on.

So yeah, I think it is a bit weird to pick that day, but as many of us know picking the "perfect" date is impossible and there may have been many other factors that went in to her choice.

Try to focus on how excited you are for your day, and as a bonus you now have someone going through planning at the same time that you can chat with, and lament about the struggles of wedding planning with.

Best of luck!

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I think that's it - it's the initial shock of seeing that she chose a date a week after ours. Now that I am reading these responses I'm realizing that maybe I am overreacting. We do have a lot of mutual guests since we come from a very large family. Our family is close knit though so I am hopeful that our family will attend both.

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Totally understandable! Glad you are able to take some feedback If there are really important people that would need to travel for both and you worry they wouldn't, then that could be a conversation you have with either your parents to get their opinion, or your cousin directly. As long as you approach that respectfully (I'm excited you chose a date, but I'm a little worried that certain people wont be able to come to both weddings...)

Deep breaths! Your wedding is still going to be just as amazing

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Thank you for being a voice of reason for me! I appreciate it. I also think not having my parents nearby (I'm in NJ and they're in FL) makes it difficult since my mother isn't there to plan a lot of this with me.

There’s no conflict. You can feel whatever you feel but she’s not doing anything wrong. Even if her wedding was the day before or after yours. Guests will figure out how to navigate this.

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I'm going to have to agree to disagree on this one since guests are going to have to fly out of state for hers, so if it was the day before or after it would absolutely conflict.

I don’t see the problem. She didn’t book the same day or weekend as you. We booked our two weeks after his cousin who has had her date 2 years longer than us. She was not offended. She said they’ll just wait to go on their honeymoon and at the end of the day unless it’s your sibling I don’t feel anyone “owes” you to have your “moment.” Your moment is wedding day. You can’t hold everyone up for as long as you think you should get to bask in it

Ok, I'm realizing I overreacted. Its just a lot on a family to have 2 weddings in a week, so it initially scared me into thinking that they'd be choosing 1 over the other, but I'll let them figure it out and focus on enjoying this time.

View Quoted Comment She may not have done anything “wrong” per se, but it was definitely inconsiderate. I can completely understand your initial feelings- I think I would have had the same concerns (and quite frankly, been a bit irritated!). But I think your mindset to just brush it off and not let it soil your own experience is the best one. Congratulations on your engagement! I hope your planning experience is a fun one!

The conflict of your honeymoon totally makes sense. You want to reciprocate and share her bliss. . However she did not book it before or the same week or day or hour for that matter, she booked it after. You said you should be able to have your time. True, but if your wedding is a week before how does that interfere? Was it expected that your wedding festivities would continue a week after the actual wedding day? I think you should give her some grace. She probably got excited and booked it not realizing the conflict of your honeymoon.

View Quoted Comment That makes a lot of sense. I think wedding planning causes a fair amount of stress and overreactions. I just had my own today. I do hope your wedding turns out to be everything you dream it to be. 💙💙

I definitely see your point. It’s the same family and depending on the family some members will be annoyed, feel they have to choose, or even try to skimp in some areas due to how close the weddings are. This is especially noticeable because important people overlap (grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins). It’s not wrong but can definitely cause problems. Just focus on your day and the family members will have to deal with it.

Me and my fiancé are getting married September 17th and my Fiancés sister is getting married October 2nd and I’m IN the wedding … I don’t see an issue with us getting married this close together and it’s nice not planning alone. Also maybe the venue she picked only had that date? I choose my venue in August 2021 and they only had September 17th 2022 available or November 5 2022 it was slim pickings because of COVID and people having to reschedule.

I would be annoyed but at the same time, at least it's not on your wedding day. Also, it's your wedding 'day' not wedding 'week'. I have to keep that in mind for mine because some friends of ours decided to get married literally the day after my fiance and I.

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That's exactly where my concern was - older family members having to be in 2 completely different areas of the country within the same week. Also, we leave for our honeymoon 2 days after our wedding and won't be around for hers and had planned on attending. It is what it is though and I'm glad that so many people chimed in here and calmed me down. Everything will work out one way or another!

View Quoted Comment Since her wedding is after yours it might end up affecting her more than you. Hopefully the really close people expected at both weddings have already been made aware of your date and they can plan accordingly regarding the cost and travel they will have to do to make both weddings and not end up having to choose between you two.