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JJAF
Super October 2019

How to uninvite guest

JJAF, on June 24, 2019 at 7:57 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 7
How do you uninvite a guest from a wedding? FH’s blood-related aunt (we’ll call her Cathy) recently passed away from her battle with cancer. Both she and her husband (we’ll call him Tim) we’re invited to attend the wedding. While we personally never wanted to invite Tim, we did out of respect for Aunt Cathy. Anyway, now that Aunt Cathy has passed away, we want to uninvite Tim but we’re not sure how. What spurred this sudden idea to uninvite him was due to the fact that he was disrespectful to everyone (especially FH’s family) while Aunt Cathy was battling cancer. He did nothing to help or support her. It was friends and family that cared for her, bringing her to her chemo appointments, and caring for her in her last few days. Tim lacked any empathy or sympathy for Aunt Cathy or anyone else. He has made rude remarks to my FH’s family e.g., offering to give Aunt Cathy’s used supplies to my FFIL because “he’ll be the one to need it next.” On the day of his Aunt Cathy’s passing, Tim had the audacity to tell us he can attend the wedding because Aunt Cathy has now passed. I was shocked and speechless. There may be legal battles over Aunt Cathy’s will and we just don’t want him there dampening our special day. Any advice would be helpful.

7 Comments

Latest activity by Emily, on June 24, 2019 at 1:57 PM
  • Misty
    Super October 2019
    Misty ·
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    Maybe a hand written letter written on cardstock saying something to the effect of
    " Tim, we are so sorry for your loss. We are all extremely heartbroken to have Lost such a wonderful woman in our lives. As we understand this is your time to grieve, please disregard our invitation to our wedding celebration. We thank you for being a part of our lives and will keep Cathy in our hearts. "
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  • Emily
    Expert May 2019
    Emily ·
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    I don’t think I could uninvite him, he just lost his wife and now to hear he’s unwanted at a wedding? When people are put into stressful situations like taking care of an ailing loved one they often times act like that. Now that she has passed he may take a look from the outside and realize how terrible he was. I am a big believer in second changes. My uncle took care of my aunt for 16 years while she was in basically a vegetative state and honestly he was an asshole the entire time. He was stressed, under a lot of pressure, and just trying to pull himself though. After her passing he took a look at himself and realized he pushed everyone away and changed his attitude. I would probably still invite him, his actions were probably caused by the stress he was going through for the time of taking care of her.
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  • Kate
    Dedicated September 2026
    Kate ·
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    Absolutely, 100%, do not invite him. When my sister got married... she invited our grandfather, who's very similar to "Tim" but just a smidgen worse, and he did some things at her wedding that I'd never forget let alone the bride & groom. From the information you have provided already, I would say that Tim's not worth the slightest chance of your wedding day going sideways. I'm all about kindness and forgiving and forgetting, don't get me wrong, but you only get married once and I don't think this is something you should overlook or cave in because of guilt. It's your wedding day. You get to be selfish (in regards to how your wedding will run), and no one on this forum should make you feel bad/guilty for doing so. Again, this is totally up to you. But that's just my two cents. Wishing you the best of luck❣.
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  • JJAF
    Super October 2019
    JJAF ·
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    Thank you Kate ❤️
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  • JJAF
    Super October 2019
    JJAF ·
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    It’s not due to his grief when he’s always been like that, so no, I don’t feel bad.
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  • JJAF
    Super October 2019
    JJAF ·
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    Thank you Misty
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  • Emily
    Expert May 2019
    Emily ·
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    If he has always been like that then I agree uninvite him. I would do like Misty said, a written letter that is clear of him being uninvited is probably the best.
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