This will be a long post, but I have to give the full story. My bachelorette party was just this past weekend. The plan was to have a nice weekend at the beach, stay in an Airbnb, chill in the hot tub, play games, dress spooky for Halloween, and take a ton of photos. I spoke to my group about not letting the drinking get our of control. My brother, who was also there, and I grew up with an abusive, alcoholic parent, so excessive drinking is a big trigger for the both of us. Everyone was in agreement and respectful.
By the end of the last night, the entire party was ruined by my bridesmaid.
1. She got really drunk and started being mean and bossy to everyone. She told my maid of honor "SHUT UP!" when she was trying to explain a game she wanted to play.2. She touched my matron of honor inappropriately. When they got there, my MOH asked if her shirt looked ok and the bridesmaid asked if she was ok with "personal touch." My MOH thought she as going to hug her, but instead, the bridesmaid stuck her whole hand in her shirt to adjust a br**st.3. She insisted on me taking a shot when I said no, then made another one for a friend of mine and told her "If you drink this, I will make out with you right now."4. She attempted to urinate outside in the back yard when we were in the hot tub.5. She walked around topless a lot6. She wasn't very present. Constantly on the phone, complaining the whole time, taking drunk selfies7. She got upset when I got upset at her behavior and decided to go to the beach at 2 A.M. making my two MOH's go after her. They felt unsafe and extremely uncomfortable. They were approached by cars and a guy more than once. She said she went to go "relive memories of her and her bf."
I talked to her on the phone and she was not very apologetic. She deflected, used her "anxiety" as an excuse for her behavior, said she didn't ask my MOH's to go after her, said she wasn't that drunk, etc. I spoke to her again the next day to tell her how I felt and how much she affected me and everyone else there. Her response was a little better, but I think she's more bothered that I'm upset with her than remorseful over her behavior.
Needless to say, I don't think it's a good idea to have her in the party anymore. Everyone's uncomfortable around her and I don't want anyone or myself to be baby sitting her at our wedding. The issue is, we've been friends for 10+ years and I don't know how to break the news to her. She also lives in another state, so it's not like we're super close anymore. I need help on how to tell her I don't feel comfortable having her as a bridesmaid anymore.