How to tell someone you don’t want them as a bridesmaid..

Once you ask someone to be a bridesmaid, it's pretty tough to undo that decision without risking harm to the friendship. It makes it more complicated that she's your fiance's boss's wife, since removing her may cause tension between your fiance's boss and your fiance. Who pressured you to add her as a bridesmaid? Is this bridesmaid someone who you consider a friend? Are your fiance and his boss close friends?

Yikes. This is a really difficult situation. You definitely should never ask anyone to be in your bridal party who isn’t the closest of friends or family. However, since the damage is already done, I don’t know a graceful way for you to back out of it. Removing somebody from a bridal party usually results in lots of hard feelings and the complete loss of the relationship with that person. If this was a toxic friend that you wanted out of your life forever, that would be one thing. But this is the wife of your spouse’s boss – definitely not somebody you want to make enemies with. I think the only way to remove her without causing a lot of potential drama and negativity for your husband at his workplace, would be to not have a wedding party at all (ie, no bridesmaids or groomsmen at all). If you do not want to do away with the wedding party altogether, I think you are just going to have to ride this out and allow her to be a bridesmaid.

Unfortunately like the others have mentioned I think you are stuck having her as a bridesmaid unless your fiance is getting a new job.

What kind of relationship does fiance have with his boss that you'd ask his wife to be in your bridal party? We're you 2 friends prior to asking her? How is she as a person? I'd she nice and understanding? How did she react when you asked her, was she elated or a little confused to be asked?

When's the wedding and how much has she done/bought?

I would be really cautious about removing someone from your wedding party, as it can be friendship ending. That would make work really awkward for your fiancé, I'm sure.

I'm not sure why you asked her in the first place, but if she's done nothing wrong she should stay in the wedding party.

That’s tough. You shouldn’t have been put in a position to have to have a bridesmaid you didn’t want.

Truthfully, I would just leave them in thr bridal party. It doesn't sound like they've done anything to be removed other than rub you the wrong way

View Quoted Comment So we we’re over at there house talking about the wedding and she was more or less saying I can help I can be a bridesmaid I think you should have 4 instead of two. I can I can I can

Also I have a version of social anxiety and when I feel pressured into something I can never say no. Even if it’s a life altering decision. Which dosent help. But thank you all for the feedback I believe I’m going to suck it up and ignore the 🚩🚩🚩🚩 because what’s done is done.

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OK, but, basically hindsight is perfect, but it would have been fine to say that the roles are filled. Now you're committed. I would in future get some help on the social anxiety, and I'm sorry it has affected you so much. I hope it goes ok!