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Beginner August 2021

How to tell someone they're not invited?

Samantha, on April 24, 2021 at 1:59 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 7

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My fiance and I got engaged about 1.5 years ago. Not long after, my father and his long term girlfriend broke up. They had a kid together, my brother, who I love and she had a kid before the relationship, who I also get along with wonderfully. I see them as my family. The problem is that after they broke up, I continued to have a relationship with the kids but not with her. And it hurt because she was another parent to me for a long time.

Now, we don't talk at all. And I don't really want her at the wedding. But her and my dad still get along and I don't know how to tell them.

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Fred, on April 25, 2021 at 4:56 AM

Champion December 2022
Michelle · on April 24, 2021 at 2:09 PM
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Unless someone asks which is very rude, you don’t bring it up. They will find out if they get a save the date and invite or not.
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Beginner August 2021
Samantha · on April 24, 2021 at 2:26 PM
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That's what's rough, they did ask. I sent out Save the Dates already and didn't send her one.
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on April 24, 2021 at 2:38 PM
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You can either be blunt next time it comes up and say you already have your guest list figured out or play dumb and forget it was asked. But do not follow up a few days later and say ‘oh btw you’re not invited’.
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Legend July 2022
Lisa · on April 24, 2021 at 2:42 PM
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If they ask about being invited, you could always tell them that you decided to limit your guest list, and unfortunately aren't able to include everyone that you'd like to invite.
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VIP May 2022
Jasmine S. · on April 24, 2021 at 4:49 PM
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Just invite dad, no need to give her any explanation. They're not married anymore. Are her children adults? It may be a bit more weird if you invite them without her, but it really depends how old they are (you didn't say if you plan to invite them).
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Beginner August 2021
Samantha · on April 24, 2021 at 6:58 PM
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The kids are 8 and 15. I do plan on inviting them to go with my dad, he's still in the girls life as a father figure.
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Expert April 2022
Fred · on April 25, 2021 at 4:56 AM
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Hello Samantha.
Don’t bring it up yourself. You said you already sent the STDs and didn't send her one. I'm ****% sure she got a hint. I agree with other posters: you don't owe them any explanation ... Unless dad is footing the bill or is contributing a high % of the cost.

Just tell her/him if she/he asks , that you can't accommodate another guest or you don't want to invite her because you don't talk to her anymore. I mean you shouldn't be scared to tell the truth. If I were in your shoes, I would put my "big girl pants" and would just tell her/him the real reason why I wouldn't invite her.Your comfort (and your partner's) are more important than theirs, seriously. Good luck!
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