How to tell bridesmaid to pay for own hair and makeup?

If you never mentioned the associated cost I would definitely not assume it’s clear. I realize you aren’t doing this but contrary to popular belief, one can’t properly require pro hair and makeup, even if you were to offer to pay.


I’d just write back and let her know what forms of payment will be accepted and when she’ll need to pay for it.

You can tell her that her cost would be $120 if she wants you to go ahead and plan on going with the hair stylist. Let her know the deadline for changing her choice.

Maybe you could just send out a group text to all the BMs letting them know that you have found a hmua and that it will cost $X for hair and $X for makeup, and if they wish to have any services done you will need to collect the money from them by X date. By sending out a group text, it avoids the awkwardness of singling out one person, and it also gives the other BMs one last chance to get in on services if they want them. It also sets a clear deadline by which they would need to confirm with you.

Just kindly remind them that they need to pay the hairdresser at certain time.

You should’ve done this with the original information. Your wording definitely sounded to me like you’d be paying if they were interested. I’d send out a text/email to the whole group. “I wanted to make the information clear. You are welcome to do your own hair and/or makeup. I will have a professional available if you prefer. Costs will be $X if you want this option. You can pay cash or Venmo on the day of, but please let me know if you’re interested so I can reserve the right timing!”

Never assume anything because it will always bite you in the butt. All their expenses and your expectations need to be laid out transparently before they are asked to be bridesmaids so that they can make an informed decision to participate or not. Don’t wait until after you ask them to share the information.


A common argument is that “all women everywhere have the ability to do their own hair and makeup” which is not true by any stretch. Some women can and others don’t have the skills or confidence no matter how many tutorials they watch and thousands of dollars spent on products. If you are requiring a specific look, you must pay for it. You need to have a conversation with her to get on the same page.