how to tell a friend she won't be a bridesmaid?

Hmmm, I might be in the minority here but I would not tell her that she will not be a bridesmaid. I simply wouldn't ask her.

You're overthinking this, in my opinion. No one is an "assumed" bridesmaid. If you don't ask her to be your bridesmaid, I think she might be able to take the hint.

You don't have to ask her to be in your party. Your wedding is a little more than two years out, if the date listed is correct. Most people don't ask bridesmaids until 6-8 months out. I probably wouldn't say anything in the meantime. Relationships change over time and if you continue to not be close around this time next year, she may not even expect it at that point. I wouldn't stress too much about it right now and re-evaluate in a year to year and a half. I know that may not be the most satisfying advice at the moment, but it's hard to know what your relationship will look like then.

I wouldn't even talk to her about your wedding for the next 18 months or so. Start thinking about your bridal party 6-8 months out. Who knows, you may want her to be a bridesmaid by then!

Well, the fact that her husband is going to be a GM is going to make this more awkward. I would agree with just not saying anything if it weren't for that. I don't know how you can just ignore it when her husband will be asked. I would have an honest conversation with her.

ETA - I agree with pp's that it is way too early for you to be asking bridesmaids. You may change your mind in a year.

You don't have to ask her but if she starts hinting around to it, I think she deserves you saying something.

I was once the friend who wasn't asked to be a BM. My best friend said simply that she had already selected her bridesmaids, and offered no further details. Though I was disappointed, I didn't ask for any explanation. 12 years later she and I are still best friends, and she was a bridesmaid for me. If you and this girl are truly good friends, not having her in your BP won't be a barrier in your relationship.

Just don't ask her.

I think it ultimately comes down to what you truly want. If you would prefer someone you're closer to, I would ask them first. Good luck!!

Funny you mention it.... I was a little flabbergasted the other day, a friend of mine(I was in her wedding ~5 years ago, we're still friends but not nearly as close as we used to be) texted me and basically said that she was hurt, not that she wasn't a bridesmaid in my wedding, but that I hadn't talked to her about it. Call me crazy, but I'd feel like an asshole contacting someone just to say "Hey FYI you're not a bridesmaid". I think the thing to do is to just not ask her, but then again, my friend didn't agree with me.

Don't ask her and also don't talk about your wedding around her and wait to select your party until you get about 6 to 8 months to the wedding .

Girl, you've got two years, don't stress yet!!

Do not tell her anything about the wedding. Do not discuss wedding details. Only if she assumes with asking, "What are we going to wear?" or something similar, would you say something such as, "Whatever you'd like. We want our guests to feel comfortable." I wouldn't exactly come right out and say she is not going to be one. But only if she assumes with a question like that above would you point out she would be a guest at your wedding and not in it.

Since your wedding is in two years, you don't need to address this issue for awhile.

First up: don't ask anyone yet until about 6 months before your wedding date.

Second up: don't go to her and say, "you aren't going to be my bridesmaid."

Just simply don't ask. She shouldn't assume that she'll be a bridesmaid if you've said nothing of the sort to her.

I was in my friend's wedding and she had me as one of her Maids of Honor.

She assumed that she'd be mine as well...but I wasn't thinking that way.

My sister is Matron of honor and this friend will be bridesmaid.

She did end up going to my FH and trying to pry out of him why she wasn't MOH, but it simply isn't her business.

I'm closer to my sister than I am her--she should get that.

Yeah like all the other ladies have said- wait and don't say anything...hopefully your FH hasn't asked your friend to be in the BP yet...my FH pretty much told his brother he was going to be in it but I wanted to wait to ask his SIL in person or when it's closer. Sometime people get too excited but it's true relationships can change...

Don't talk to her about it unless she straight asks you or actually uses the words bridal party. I had someone who randomly told me "her husband wouldn't attend my wedding unless she was a bridesmaid" (I know...) so I had to break the news right then and there. Awkward.

Don't tell her!! That would be so awkward and hurtful. Just don't ask her.

When I decided on my bridal party, I did not ask one of my friends from high school. She kept mentioning stuff about the wedding and bridal party and I didn't want to address it, as I didn't want to come across as being rude. I figured that by not asking her to be a bridesmaid, it would have been assumed. Finally I had to say something as she basically came out and asked if she was in the party. It was very awkward. I have other friends who I did not ask and nothing was brought up or said.

I just wouldn't ask... I had a friend who was in mine and I was not asked to be in hers- I didn't think much about it- was not hurt- still went to showers and such-