How to talk to my grandmother/ calling me a bridezilla Help!!

I think you need to speak to your grandmother and tell her that it’s upsetting you that she keeps labelling you a bridezilla when you haven’t done anything to deserve the title. My mother kept calling me one until I explained to her that I was being very reasonable and did not do anything to justify name calling, and that while I would happily listen to the opinions and advice of others, I am by no means under any obligation to act on such advice.

She also needs to respect the fact that even if she is paying for part of the wedding, she does not get to dictate who will come, who will pay for the rest of the wedding, or any choices you make. She is free to contribute to your wedding if she wants to, however she does not earn any entitlement to make such demands. Be clear with her about this.

I do not understand why she wants your father to pay for the wedding but then took money that he gave you and hidden it?! Aside from this being quite intrusive and rude, I don’t understand what game she is playing and what her intentions are!

She yanked your arm, calls you names, took money out of your purse and hid it...


She may be grandma, but she's being toxic. I think you should return her money and cut her out of the wedding planning entirely.
I am sorry you're going through this!!!

Your grand

Accidentally it post before I was done typing. Your grandmother sounds incredibly toxic. I would thank her for her offer to help pay, but that you no longer need her assistance. Pay her portion yourself so you don't have to deal anymore with this kind of behavior.

Honestly yes, as all those above me have said she sounds toxic. Pray for her so that you can come to an agreement and definitely have respect. She is clearly okay with disrespecting you and you don't deserve that. If she doesn't want to abide then I'd say pay her what ever she has given you and tell her you no longer need her help. Honestly as much as it might help you don't deserve that treatment and you deserve much more than that. I hope you guys can work it out 😭 maybe it's something more bothering her and that's why she is acting like that. I would definitely try talking to her. Also deduct what ever money she stole from your purse!

I wouldn’t be including her in decision making from this point on. As others have said, her behavior is toxic. She stole money from you and continually belittles you. I think you need to set some firm boundaries and focus on the wedding planning with your future spouse and not her. Also, if the money was given in the form of a check, have your dad cancel it just in case and write you a new one. If it was cash, she needs to give it back. That’s unacceptable behavior.

View Quoted Comment I agree! She’s bordering on abusive and it’s not ok.


She stole the money your dad gave you? You need to get that back pronto!! Tell your dad, the police, someone. How much did she take? That is also bordering on unforgivable.

I guess I’m confused why your grandmother is so involved in your wedding planning. Do you live with her? She is treating you like a small child! You shouldn’t need to ask anyone’s permission when deciding on your cake topper! It sounds like her money comes with her control and snarky comments. I would kindly refuse her financial assistance and stop “asking about” wedding things or offering any details regarding the planning.

So... she's abusing you, stealing from you, and then demanding you do what she says?

I would return what ever money she gave you, tell your father she stole his money, and stop telling her anything about the wedding... and maybe don't invite her.

I'm sorry, she sounds very toxic.

I'm with Natalie and confused why is your grandmother so involved in your planning. And completely agree with the others, if she stole money from you she needs to return it right away. Did she take it because she thinks you'll spend it elsewhere? It doesn't make much sense.

As others have stated, I'd remove her from planning and if need be modify your wedding plans so that her financial help is not needed. I would not accept money from her if it comes with conditions and abuse.

I would give her an ultimatum of “either back off and don’t pay for anything and let me do this, or don’t come to the wedding.”


I agree she’s toxic and doesn’t sound like someone I’d want in my life/wedding at all. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. But, nip it in the bud now and you can have a stress free planning process and wedding day.
Maybe reach out to another family member to have them support you during the conversation.