How to survive a marriage with an Angry husband

Let me start by saying if your arguments are indeed that intense (especially if they are ever physical), then the most important thing to consider here is not what people will say, or how long you've been married for- look out for you and your safety above all else... And that goes for your emotional and mental well-being too! NO ONE worth having in your life will judge you if you feel like you need to leave.

I can't imagine being in your situation, and I am so sorry that you are going through such a tumultuous time. I have not experienced something of that magnitude, but my future husband and I have been together for seven years and the first year of our relationship was riddled with intense arguments. I have maintained that the best thing that ever happened to us as a couple was going to counseling together, and I will always recommend it to anyone struggling with what to do. Having that neutral third party helped us cope with our baggage from past relationship/upbringings, that without us even knowing were impacting how we treated each other. It sounds silly and simple, but our counselor literally taught us how to speak to one another; we're opposites in many ways so in treating each other the way we wanted to be treated, we weren't really considering the other's point of view or needs.

Look to your support system and don't be afraid to reach out to those around you for space and clarity. I wish you happiness in whatever steps you take toward a better future .

Leaving has always been a battle for me. I've been trying to do this, but it's difficult for me to stand my ground. I feel like in some way, if I leave, it's me giving in. I think it's rooted in needing to not be disrespected and a need to stand up for myself and not be a pushover. But I totally see how taking myself out of a degrading situation would actually be taking myself out of becoming disrespected. Thank you for your advice; I'll keep it mind.

My husband has these moments too, and I get it. People are allowed to be grouchy sometimes, but it's not ok to take it out on a loved one. My husband is normally logic and therefore, is capable of realizing when he's being mean when he's not in that angry zone already.

In the beginning, his outbursts only included yelling. Then it escalated to him getting in front of my face while yelling, calling me names, and putting me down. Then after that, there was an instance of pushing me off the couch to get me away from him, and recently smacking my arm away while I try to use my arm to keep distance between us.

I know that people can't be forced to change unless they want to change. I also know that people who don't want help can't be helped. I feel like he was in the mindset of wanting to change before. But now I recollect him only stating that he feels he can't change.

I appreciate your advice.

We've talked about it the following day or when things have cooled off. And he always is apologetic for it and realizes he shouldn't be threatening divorce, yelling at me, or calling me names. That's when the therapy conversation comes around.

I've been searching online and reading articles on how to handle this situation. I can only do so much reading. I definitely need to seek counseling. Thank you for your advice.