How to share the news of intimate weddings

I think you can say something like, "We're really excited about having an intimate wedding with just immediate family." That avoids saying directly that they are not invited, but makes it clear that when an invitation does not appear, it's not personal.

I got ahead of it by text all my aunties and best friends to tell them that as much as I would love them to be there, we are deciding to do an immediate family only wedding. We both have such large extended families, that if we invited them, our headcount is already at 90!

I would say you are eloping in Italy with your parents & siblings!

We originally wanted to have a very intimate wedding with only immediate family and then throw a party afterwards. But then we figured why throw two parties when we can just have a wedding. We're planning on 50 people - immediate family, *some* uncles and cousins and close friends. The reason we're including *some* uncles and cousins is because my FFIL wants them there. We can technically accommodate them in our budget, plus my FPIL have offered to help. My family is huge - I've got a Spanish grandma and an Irish grandma. They have a combined total of 20 siblings. So you can just imagine how many cousins I have.

ANYWAY - back to your original question. Tell them we would love to invite you, but we're trying to stay under a tight budget, so we are only inviting immediate family to our wedding. We're telling everybody we're having a small wedding because we're paying for it ourselves - which we completely intend to do. If parents/grandparents want to help, then cool. But we're not banking on that money. A lot of people seem to understand, especially those that have had a lot of help funding their wedding. I know that's a really roundabout answer, so I hope it helps! if not, feel free to reach out and I'll try to clarify.

I just say "we are just having a private wedding with our parents"

We reached out as soon as we made the decision, I don't have the exact texts because we sent it last July.

I think something like: "Hi Aunts, Eli and I have decided to do an intimate ceremony with just our immediate families. We are paying for this ourselves, and would really like to use our savings towards a down payment on a house instead of a reception. We love you all so much and really appreciate your understanding!"