How to say no

Maybe set up the wedding website and have that say "thanks for visiting our site. There is no wedding party to join us and the ceremony is only for 2 people. We'll see some of you sometime after that."

Then get a QR-code with that website link and send them that code.

I would say something like “We are so glad that you are excited for us and our marriage! We have actually decided that we are going to elope, but we would love to catch up with you another time!”

View Quoted Comment I agree with this wording! I think the only thing I would change is replace "catch up" with "celebrate", but otherwise I think it sounds great. Be upfront and clear as soon as they say something to you that indicates that they are inviting themselves. They will also figure it out when you do not send them an invitation with the details. Also avoid discussing your elopement plans around them, and if they ask about it, be vague on the details until after you get back.

View Quoted Comment Love it!!! Thank you!

View Quoted Comment Lisa, I love the celebrate verbiage. You're absolutely right. I need to stop discussing the plans. Thank you!

View Quoted Comment Great idea! Thank you!!

View Quoted Comment This wording is best. You are letting them know your plans with committing to a big party later that may or may not take place due to energy, budget, comfort level in big crowds, etc.


However don’t send this as a card or website. That is considered impolite to tell someone before the wedding specifically that they are not invited. Save the announcements to send out after the wedding.

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I mostly meant that for people who still are insistent on rearranging your plans

View Quoted Comment I understand, thank you.

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Agree here, I would stay away from "celebrate" because then people may be expecting an invitation to a party.