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Michele
Rockstar July 2023

How to say no

Michele, on September 26, 2022 at 10:21 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10
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William and I are eloping next July. Since our engagement, several people have invited themselves to our ceremony and others have invited themselves to be in the wedding. What can be tactfully said to let them know there is no opportunity to participate or attend?

10 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on September 27, 2022 at 8:27 PM
  • Michael
    VIP October 2023
    Michael ·
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    Maybe set up the wedding website and have that say "thanks for visiting our site. There is no wedding party to join us and the ceremony is only for 2 people. We'll see some of you sometime after that."

    Then get a QR-code with that website link and send them that code.

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  • Erin
    Rockstar May 2022
    Erin ·
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    I would say something like “We are so glad that you are excited for us and our marriage! We have actually decided that we are going to elope, but we would love to catch up with you another time!”
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
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    I agree with this wording! I think the only thing I would change is replace "catch up" with "celebrate", but otherwise I think it sounds great. Be upfront and clear as soon as they say something to you that indicates that they are inviting themselves. They will also figure it out when you do not send them an invitation with the details. Also avoid discussing your elopement plans around them, and if they ask about it, be vague on the details until after you get back.
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  • Michele
    Rockstar July 2023
    Michele ·
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    Love it!!! Thank you!
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  • Michele
    Rockstar July 2023
    Michele ·
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    Lisa, I love the celebrate verbiage. You're absolutely right. I need to stop discussing the plans. Thank you!
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  • Michele
    Rockstar July 2023
    Michele ·
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    Great idea! Thank you!!
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    This wording is best. You are letting them know your plans with committing to a big party later that may or may not take place due to energy, budget, comfort level in big crowds, etc.


    However don’t send this as a card or website. That is considered impolite to tell someone before the wedding specifically that they are not invited. Save the announcements to send out after the wedding.
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  • Michael
    VIP October 2023
    Michael ·
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    I mostly meant that for people who still are insistent on rearranging your plans Smiley tongue

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  • Michele
    Rockstar July 2023
    Michele ·
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    I understand, thank you.
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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Agree here, I would stay away from "celebrate" because then people may be expecting an invitation to a party.

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