Kendall
Dedicated August 2019

How to revoke an invitation

Kendall, on August 15, 2019 at 3:01 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12
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So we invited this old coworker because at the time she was dating a groomsman. I’ve never really disliked her or liked her. We spoke at work and we’re friendly but outside of that, not really friends. More of acquaintances. Well over the past week she has started so much crap and drama. I don’t know what I ever did to her but I do not want her at my wedding. It started with a note left in my work clip board anonymously but I’ve had several people confirm the hand writing and she just so happened to be at my work place the night the note showed up stating that my bf was smoking pot behind my back. Of course I didn’t believe it and confronted my fiancé about the letter. He quit a long time ago and told me he had only slipped up the once that I was already aware of. I knew someone was just trying to get to me. But I let it go because getting upset is what she wants. Well last night I show up for work and am approached by multiple coworkers, friends and people I don’t even know that know her asking if the rumors were true. Of course I’m still thinking it’s over the dang note. Nope! She’s now telling quite literally everybody and their momma that I walked in on my fiancé sleeping with another woman in my bed and the only reason I’m keeping quiet and continuing with the wedding is because I’m knocked up. As I told everyone yesterday if I would’ve found him cheating I most definitely would not be continuing with the wedding, he most likely wouldn’t be breathing and I sure wouldn’t still be living with him. And secondly if we’re expecting, congrats to me because we want a baby. But I’m not pregnant. I am over itttttt. My wedding is in 13 days! I have enough going on to even have to listen to it. It’s more annoying and childish than anything. I’m just tired of it all. I’m tired of being asked about it. I don’t have time for this petty crap. So how do you uninvite a guest? Bc I’m about ready say f etiquette the witch with a capital b ain’t coming and I’ll have security escort her out.

12 Comments

Latest activity by Jeanie, on August 16, 2019 at 3:40 AM
  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    Definitely have security. Just send her a text and say
    I understand you are upset with me, however your behavior has been inappropriate towards me and you are no longer welcome to my wedding.
    Don't respond after.
    If you have an HR department I would report her. It's workplace harassment and frankly unprofessional to act like that at work.
    • Reply
  • Anna
    Super August 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag

    I would also report this to HR. It's very childish and has no place in the workplace.
    Since your wedding is so soon, I would probably call her and tell her the behavior is unacceptable and she is not welcome at your wedding. I agree with the previous poster- don't respond after you say your piece.

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    I second Kelly, and what you said. Show security her picture and if she shows up, have her escorted from the building!

    • Reply
  • Kendall
    Dedicated August 2019
    Kendall ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Well she’s already been banned from property. I don’t work in that type of environment. I work in a barn. I’m the closest thing there is to an HR department. She doesn’t work with us anymore. She works for another company down the road.
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    Well I'm glad she doesn't work directly with you. Text her. Ignore her. Have security toss her out
    • Reply
  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
    • Flag

    Please report the incident at your work! And hire security to make sure she won't be able to get in if she tries. She sounds like a very immature and messy person. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this!

    • Reply
  • Kendall
    Dedicated August 2019
    Kendall ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Not that type of job. I work for a barn and I am the manager sooo not much else can be done. She’s already banned
    • Reply
  • Allaura
    Devoted April 2021
    Allaura ·
    • Flag

    I'd start a rumor that she's not invited to the wedding. But I'm petty. lol Just tell her shes been the biggest witch and shes no longer welcome. If she shows up then have her kicked out. I doubt she'd show, unless she wanted a scene (which is why security is there Smiley smile).

    • Reply
  • L
    Dedicated October 2020
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    Do it. Right now. Text her right now and say "Due to the current circumstances, I respectfully ask that you are not present at my wedding. You are no longer invited."
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    Social etiquette has never said that you must invite ( or honor a previous invitation for) someone who has been actively trying to hurt you or destroy your reputation. Privately speak to her, or have a FedEx signature required delivery of a short letter. State in a civil way, but quite clearly, that due to her gossip and spreading untrue information about you and FI, she has broken the trust of friendship. That you no longer have any positive feelings about her, and want to distance yourself from her unpleasant behavior. And that she is no longer invited to your wedding or any related activities. You have removed her name from the guest list with the venue and the caterer. If she asks you about it in public, tell her you will only discuss it privately. Or that you put in writing everything you wanted to say . And here is the etiquette part: Not inviting her, given her manner of behavior toward you, is fine. But ha in done so, do not let her provoke you to anger. Walk away. And if others ask you about it, limit your comments to, we felt she was repeatedly acting badly toward us, and we are no longer friends. She will not attend our wedding . Stop there. Do not explain, or talk about her behind her back, as she has nastily done to you. That would be the only breach of good manners. Just do not talk, or post, or deal with it. Case closed, disappoint the curious
    • Reply
  • Trista
    VIP September 2019
    Trista ·
    • Flag
    No advice, as PPs have it covered, but I just gotta say, weddings bring out the WORST pettiness, drama, and jealousy!
    • Reply
  • Jeanie
    Super February 2020
    Jeanie ·
    • Flag
    You also can file a harassment complaint with the police. If she continues and things get worse, you can speak to them about a restraining order. Just seems so strange that she would be focusing on you when it sounds like you really have no history with this woman. I wish you luck and happy wedding!
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