How to rescind your invite?

Ugh - why'd you ask her in the first place? however you handle it it's going to be messy and feelings are going to get hurt.

I removed a friend from my wedding party because we had a huge falling out. We are no longer friends so she isn't invited to my wedding. There was tension before though and I had the same feeling as you where I knew the friendship was ending and didn't want her in the wedding. I also knew if I removed her as a bridesmaid then the friendship was over and I wasn't ready for that yet. Not knowing all the details of your situation I think if you want her out of the wedding you'll have to be prepared to remove her from your life.

I think I am prepared to lose that friendship...I know after the wedding I would want to distance myself from her. When I initially asked her, it was more of her saying she wanted to be a BM. I just thought it would be fine...then things she's fine since then has made me see her in a new light. Not in anyway am I trying to be a bridezilla. I said no to the bridal shower because I didn't want them to spend anymore money.

I'm just sad that I will be losing a friendship after this.

I think if that's the way you feel then tell her as kindly as you can you don't want her in the wedding anymore. That you have become very different people. It sucks it's so close and I'm guessing she got her dress. I was going to offer to pay for my former BM dress until she threatened to sue me and went and told a bunch of people strange lies about me. It will suck taking the plunge and doing it but when you look back on your wedding photos you won't have to look at them and think about someone you no longer care for. If only we could go back and tell ourselves to not ask these people...hindsight...sighhhh

You're getting married in one month. Unless this woman has done something terribly wrong and deeply offensive, I would leave this alone. If you do decide to remove her, she'll be angry that she's been involved, spent money, and owns a dress she wouldn't have otherwise purchased. The last place she'll want to be is at your wedding, so inviting her as a guest isn't a good idea.

You seem torn -- you say you're sad about this. Can you try to hold on and focus on the positive aspects of your friendship for just another four weeks? At this point, I don't think you need the drama this would cause.

Eek.. I don't have personal experience in this but this girl I work with kicked her MOH to the curb less than a week before her wedding (which is today actually) and needless to say, the girl did NOT attend her wedding! lol

I had to kick my own sister out. She made it pretty easy for me though. One of the big issues we had is that she kept putting off ordering her dress. After 4 months of that, I finally gave her an ultimatum - order the dress by X date or you're out. She then lied to me and the rest of the family about ordering it. She told us all different stories about where she ordered from, or what day she did it. We gave her all the help we could - 4 people offered to loan her the money, 2 people offered to buy it as a birthday gift for her.....no one could figure out wtf her problem was.

That wasn't the only issue I had with her, but it made it a little easier to have reason to get rid of her. It took me about 6 months to get the balls to kick her out, I felt horrible, but when she made things unpleasant for for me, my MOH, my grandmother, my aunt, and my DH, I couldn't stand it anymore.

I made it clear she was still welcome as a regular guest and would get to sit up front with the family. I also let her bring her friend to the wedding, which was nice because she kept my sister entertained for most of the day.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Has she bought a bridesmaid dress? If so, I hope you're prepared to reimburse her for that and any other expenses she has incurred for your wedding if you kick her out. Kicking someone out of your wedding is pretty rude and yes, most likely a friendship ending move.

Abby, being sisters doesn't always mean best friends -- or friends at all. Believe me, I hear you on that one. I've always bristled at the assumption that because a woman is your sister, she has to be your MOH (in many families, making your sister a BM instead of of MOH is considered an insult). I really wish older female members of the family would keep their opinions to themselves when it comes to who a bride chooses as an attendant.

I also kicked my sister out of my wedding party. She said that the dresses we picked were too expensive yet my other bm that has a child and lives on one small coast guard income bought her dress and she's is flying from Alabama to Seattle. She then complained about the color and thought that she needed to stand out. So I finally got tired of her thinking that she needed to stand out because shes my sister and outshine me on my wedding day. I had my mom talk to her so I didn't really have to do it however she did come back at me with well you should have just told me buy my sister is the type that she needs to hear it from the top which was our mom. Be prepared for backlash from it best of luck on your decision.

Classssyyyyy

Boo, have the BM stand at the edge of the group. If things go farther downhill, you can easily crop her out!

Jesse's Boo..I think I really need more specifics on what the BM did or said that would cause you to boot her out so close to your date..If you do choose to boot her then you need to reimburse her for her dress imo. If she randomly tells you she no longer wants to be a BM then you do not need to pay for her dress..

imo anything short of punching you or a close family/friend, having an affair with a GM, or developed a major substance abuse problem etc it's kinda hard to justify kicking her out this close to your date.

Are you ready to potentially end this friendship over whatever it is that's causing problems between you two? If you are, then it's probably best to do it now than letting it fester. I was in a similar position as you but I thought my "friend" would get over it so I didn't kick her out. On my wedding day, in photos that she knew she was in, she had a fake smile on her face and in candid ones, she looked like she was sucking on a lemon. Also, on my wedding day, I kept hearing her complain to anyone who would listen about how long of a day it has been when in fact, when I was the MOH for her wedding (the year before), it was a much longer day and I didn't say a word about it. It just totally brought down my mood and made me feel annoyed every time I heard her complaining about it (and believe me, I heard it A LOT)

Use the line from bridesmaid. "I'm inviting you to no longer be a part of the wedding party". Just kidding. It's a tough situation good luck

It's YOUR day you have to live with your pictures for the rest of your life. So what if she's offended you have to be happy with your day. If you already plan to remove her from your life why look at her pictures that will be in your home everyday. Call her and say you decided to downgrade your wedding party apologize and smile and be happy. Don't sweat it.

I agree that it will probably get ugly, but if you really don't want her in your wedding party, make sure you tell her your reasons for wanting her out. It's also up to you whether you'd still like to invite her to the wedding or not. If she's already paid for her dress, it is good gesture to refund her money since she won't be wearing it for the occasion she bought it for. I wouldn't pay too much mind to people who tell you "well, you shouldn't have asked her in the first place." Sometimes things happen, be it wedding related or not, that have a way of causing friction and tension in our relationships, and I don't think most people ask those closest to them to be in the wedding party hoping that they'll be difficult - we expect them to be happy and supportive and helpful and make the stressful wedding planning much easier. Unfortunately s*#! happens and a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. It's your day and it should go the way you've dreamed it should. If she's getting in the way of that, do what you need to.

Good luck!

I would return any money she has spent and just be honest about your change of heart.