How to politely tell people they are not invited?

Personally, I wouldn't say anything. They will realize that they are not invited when they don't receive an invitation. If someone asks, you can simply say, "we are trying to keep it intimate with mostly family and very close friends." eta: clarity

You don't have to say anything. Don't post on social media about your wedding. Don't bring it up in conversation. If someone asks, what beach dreams said above.

@beachdreams is spot on. Don't discuss any details of the wedding with them, and if they bring it up explain that it's a small, intimate ceremony.

Haha! i feel you! I'm in almost the exact same boat but both my FH and I attend church regularly. We just don't feel comfortable having everyone there especially because I'm brazilian and he's italian so there will be a ton of beer and wine at the wedding (incredibly frowned upon at my church). Basically, people have asked us to let them know when the date is and I tell them I will but it doesn't mean they're getting an invite. If they ask why they haven't received one, which is super rude, then be honest-- we're having a mainly family, intimate wedding, sorry If they're mad, they'll get over it

Don't mention your wedding to anyone.

People will understand, but you never tell people they are not invited as PP said kindly just say it'll be a small ceremony if they ask

I second everyone above. I'd also allow vendors to comment on your future posts. They aren't allowed to advertise in threads and many have excellent advice from years of dealing with weddings.

While I agree with everyone above about how not getting an invite should mean they know they are not invited, I know that in the church I grew up in, it was almost assumed that everyone in the church was invited, and sometimes people wouldn't even send individual invitations, they would just post one on the church bulletin board. Kind of weird, but if your church is anything like mine was with people assuming they are invited, you are going to have address it somehow: we're keeping it intimate, budget constraints, etc.

Don't say anything

It matters whether you are getting married inside the church or at a seperate location.

At most churches all members are welcome at all church services which includes weddings. My own wedding will be at my childhood church and an announcement will be placed in the church bulletin. It is understood that if the reception is off site then only those specifically invited with a mailed invite come to that. I suggest not posting anything in your church bulletin until after your wedding to acknowledge your nuptials.

If the wedding is offsite, they should have no expectation whatsoever of being invited without a mailed card.

If your wedding isn't at the church I don't see how it'll be an issue. I would invite the people you want and if others ask you then you can let them know about it being an intimate wedding.

You just don't say anything to anyone about anything if they're not going to be invited

It's traditional for couples to extend an invite to everyone in the church at my church as well. We're not doing that because we don't have the space or money; we're just inviting our close friends from church. One lady has already said "I can't wait for my invitation!" I had to kindly explain that due to money and space we were having a small wedding and couldn't accommodate everyone from the church. She looked shocked, but she'll get over it.

Thank you everyone!! Our wedding is not going to be at church. It will be at my Fiancé's backyard which is beautiful. But not big enough for everyone. I will follow your advice!! Thank you so much!

"You're not invited"

Lydiamuhammad! I'm also Brazilian and my Fiancé is Australian. We're also having alcohol in our wedding because his family drinks...and it's the same at my church regarding alcohol and dancing. But I'm having both and it will already be kinda "polemic".. :/

It's crazy how a wedding can bring up so much drama and hurt feelings. It's brought up a lot of sore topics for me.

I'm in the same boat. We decided to invite everyone to the reception and only family and EXTREMELY close friends to the ceremony. So far everyone has been really understanding.