How to politely correct people about last name

I would just say "I actually kept my last name, so I'm still a ____, but thank you so much!"

I would start correcting them, then it will spread by word of mouth and you'll have less awkward run ins with your future in laws. Just say "I'm actually keeping my name, but I'm excited to officially be part of the family!"

I usually say actually I kept my last name, but thank you

I honestly wouldn’t even bother, it’s just a congratulations. Even if they send you guys mail as Mr & Mrs it’s not a legal document or anything, it just wouldn’t bother me. I feel like correcting them could come off as awkward.

View Quoted Comment That’s the thing.. before we were even engaged someone addressed mail to us as Mr. & Mrs. and it got me so mad. I knew even then that I was going to keep my name so I feel like I can’t be quiet about it lol

View Quoted Comment Oh my grandmother has been sending letters like that for years! We’re actually changing both of our last names to a brand new one so it was kind of “yeah ok that’s not my name but whatever”

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Oooh I love this idea! What made you and your FH decide on a brand new last name?

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I like this response! It's polite but still makes the point clear

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I think this is perfect.

One of my FW's co-workers assumed I was taking her name so we just politely corrected her and let her know what our name will be once we are able to change it. (Still have our married names and have to go through an extra process to hyphenate the way we want)

I'd politely correct them like others have mentioned here.
I had a friend who didnt change her name (and I didnt know she was keeping her maiden name) and I joked on facebook it's not official if she hasn't changed her facebook name yet. Partly because when she got engaged she had said well were not official until it's on Facebook!
Her MIL jumped in and berated me with a whole spiel about "SHE'S AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND DOESN'T NEED TO CHANGE HER NAME...IM PROUD OF THE STRONG WOMAN SHE IS FOR NOT CHANGING HER NAME."
All that to say....polite and tactful is the best way to go! Lol

View Quoted Comment That’s pretty cool that you both will take on new names. I’m personally all about fairness and equality within a marriage. If he’s not changing his I feel like I shouldn’t have to either. Just my own thoughts

View Quoted Comment My last name is ugly and his last name is only tied to his deadbeat bio father so he’s the only one in his family that has the last name. No emotional ties to either name, no long bloodlines or anything. We decided since we’re becoming our own family now that we would pick a new name together. It’s a lot more complicated of a process but it works for us. ❤️

View Quoted Comment I applaud you two! Bravo! My FH’s father is a deadbeat as well. So I’m a little confused as to why he wants me taking his name. I’m the one with emotional ties to my last name. And yet I’m in the wrong for wanting to keep mine. *Sigh*

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Love it! I'm not particularly attached to my last name, but I know FH is because of his family. I don't love the way his last name sounds with my name, but I think I'm just overthinking it. Plus I know his name is important to him and it's important to me that we have the same name I'm glad you found the perfect option for your situation, it has to be exciting starting a brand new family name!

View Quoted Comment It’s a lot more complicated of a process because it has to be appealed in court like any other name change but it’s the best option! I know he feels a lot better about it, he didn’t want to give his current name to anyone at all.

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I think this is the best response! Plus if your family & husband's family are aware, they will correct people and it will spread too.

I wouldn’t correct them. I would just take it in the sense that you’re part of the family now. If you were to change your last name, that wouldn’t make you any less of a “Jones” because you changed your last name to “Smith,” would it? Maybe if you want to let everyone know you’re keeping your last name, make a point to have both your first and last names on your thank you cards from the wedding. That could give everyone a chance to see without any embarrassment for either party. I don’t think most people say it to be disrespectful, it’s just still not a common thing (at least where I live).
I haven’t decided if I’m changing my name yet. He really wants me to. I just don’t care that much either way, and remember how annoying it was to change my name and then back again after I split with my ex. I have my maiden name now, so since it’s already different than my sons, it just isn’t important to me. I do have respect for those who have an opinion either way. I think it’s interesting to see what each couple decides and how it reflects on their personalities.

I absolutely get where you're coming from. I decided to keep my last name, also. On FB I will certainly have his last name next to mine, but honestly, I don't think I will correct people. It would just get old and boring in my opinion. However, if you're not comfortable with people calling you by your husbands last name, you have every right to correct them. You can simply say that you decided not to take his last name, and correct them to use the proper one when referring to you.

If it were me I would politely thank them but inform them of your choices to keep your name. A friend of mine took 4 years to change hers, but felt it was silly to correct someone when she was addressed by her married name.

I'd tell them, "Thanks, that's so sweet of you! I'm not actually going to be a Smith though - neither of us are changing our last names after we get married." I like pushing back on the idea that women in heterosexual relationships are expected to change their last name to their husband's - highlight that neither of you are changing your names and you're not the only one keeping your last name.