How to politely ask for money as a gift

I’m in the same boat, me and my fiancé have already lived together for almost two years in an apartment so we already have mostly everything we need, so we’re hoping to get mostly cash to put towards a down payment on a house. I’m just gonna do a very small registry so people will kind of get the hint that we’d rather get cash. Also my mom, mother in law and bridal party will be letting people know that we’re trying to save up for a house and spread the word a bit that way we’re not directly asking and it won’t come off as rude.

I feel like like nowadays most people gift cash at weddings anyway, all the weddings I’ve been to I’ve always just gifted cash and have seen most other guests doing the same.

We added a “registry page” to our wedding website but the page just mentions we don’t want gifts since we have all we need but there will be a card table at the reception. The hope is if they gift us it’ll just be money with a card but we didn’t outright ask for money.

You could always set up a "honeymoon" fund or opt for gift cards to places. I really like the idea of setting up a "card table". Know though, that without a registry you may get a few odds & ends because folks who are old school like to give a physical gift. I would be prepared to bring an extra suitcase or plan on checking a big tote box just in case.

There unfortunately is no polite way. Just don't register and the vast majority of people will take that as their cue to give cash. Those who don't, well, you thank them nicely for what they do give.

I have a coworker that told me her daughter put “in lieu of gifts give cash” on her invitations and wedding website. I thought that was pretty rude. With that being said...I won’t be doing a registry lol hopefully my guests get the hint.

I followed the suggestions I've seen on this forum and decided to not register anywhere in hope that this will prompt our guests to bring monetary gifts.

There is no polite way to ask for any gift, especially money. Skip the registry and people will default to cash or check gifts. Physical gifts aren't typically brought to the wedding anyway.

There really isn't a polite way. The easiest would just be to not register for anything. Most guests give cash anyway. At my first wedding I got two gifts and the rest was cash.

I’m always surprised that people say “don’t register and they will get the hint”. I had never heard of that until I joined these forums. I’m guessing most of your guests aren’t on wedding forums, so they may not “get the hint” and you could end up with a lot of gravy boats and punch bowls. 🙅🏼‍♀️
You could always do an online registry with your address as the delivery place. Gifts will be sent to your home address instead of the wedding venue. It’s totally fine to request in your registry that gifts be sent to your address as you will be marrying far from home. You can also register for gift cards.

If you don't register, people will just give cash. You don't need to ask for it. However, most registries just link your home address and send the gifts there.

Just don't have a registry. In the NY area, it's common etiquette that guests "pay for their plate" as a wedding gift. So instead of physical gifts, they will place a card with $100+ in the card box.

View Quoted Comment I’m from NJ and it’s the same! It’s just a known thing for people to pay for their plate and then some and pretty much everyone in NJ just gives cash regardless. I’m just worried about my fiancé’s side of the family cause they’re all from NC and it’s much different lol

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I'm from NJ too and some of my husband's family was from Virginia and NC so I was worried about them trying to get us boxed gifts for the wedding too because I know etiquette on wedding gifts changes as you go further south. We had a registry for my bridal shower, we kept it really small so once the shower was over all the gifts were purchased. It ended up that almost everyone just gave a card with money like normal. Only one person from the south gave just a wrapped gift.