How to plan a wedding ceremony

Maybe you could recite a poem that might help.

Most officiants have an outline of them. Does she have any officiant friends?

My husband and I wrote our own ceremony and it was by far one of the most challenging wedding tasks we had. I researched examples on multiple wedding websites and tweaked them to fit us. It took a long time and we had to take breaks and revisit it a few times before we were satisfied with the final product. The ceremony is the most important part of the day. Try to make it a bit more personal than just filling in the blanks on a template.

ETA - a family member performed our ceremony, there were no awkward pauses, it was perfect and legal.

I think the "you just hire a professional" comments are super harsh. I think it's ok for people to choose someone who means something to you. I chose a family friend who has officiated non-religious weddings and funerals before, for our family and other friends of his. What we did was sit down with him and go through exactly what we wanted to happen: the processional, a welcome to the wedding introduction, a few moments for FH and I to say lovey words to each other, the vows we wrote ourselves, the exchanging of the rings, and then a kiss and an the recessional. Once we got that outline my FH and I sat down and wrote out an actual script for what we wanted the officiant to say. Then we sent that script to our day of coordinator and her team, and they came back with a few edits and great advice, and then we sent it to the officiant, who also approved it, and now he's memorizing it, but will also have a copy day of. When writing the script we just googled non religious scripts, I think there was a good list on the knot's website. Overall it's going to be short and sweet and I honestly love that we wrote it together!

She volunteered before we had even set a date because she wants to start doing this when she retires in a year. We've done our research and aren't worried about the legalities. Our coordinator at the venue has helped other couples with this as well. It's really only a brief part of the day, and I'd rather have my aunt to officiate than some stranger. She is also used to public speaking, so I'm not worried about that.

We have looked at scripts and outlines together but none of them feel right.

Just remember that these are vows you are making for the rest of your life (theoretically) so don't take it too lightly. I would say if scripts don't "feel right" to you from online, then why would you want a fill in the blank form? Wouldn't that be the same thing? What doesn't feel right?

We are having our friend officiate our wedding. He had us wrote our vows down and give them to him. I found sand ceremony verbiage off the Internet as well as hand ceremony and a poem for a friend to read. She could get a good base of the internet and just make it personal to the two of you.

Http://images.theknot.com/SecularCeremonyScript2.pdf

This one is funny if you're into that. But you can take parts of this and add them into your script.

@TealWedding, I just need an outline to personalize. I haven't been to a wedding in such a long time that I don't even know how to structure it. That's why I'd rather have a blank form to fill out how we want, instead of using something already written.

I'm used to writing technical reports, so this is a bit of a challenge, but I think the only way one will feel right is if we customize something we find online. I think what I'm having trouble with is that we are so private and a lot of the ceremonies are more sentimental and expressive than we ever are in public. I would almost prefer doing a generic ceremony in front of everyone, and saving our vows for private when it is just the two of us.

It is an important part of the day, but I was responding to someone saying I should let my Aunt relax. We plan on 30 minutes or less for the ceremony. That's was I was calling brief.

ETA: I love the feel of that ceremony, @TealWedding. I like how it is formatted. @OG Alicia, I'll look at those too. I've looked at offbeat bride for other things, but it hasn't shown up on google so I didn't even think of it.

Were having a close family friend of mine do the ceremony. Hes done a few before so he sent us an outline of what he's done and than we sent him something more along our line and were going to get together and outline more and personalize.

I literally just got done officiating a wedding for a couple I just met. I was a "stranger" everyone cried and told me how beautiful it was and how I must have known the couple forever. The couple didn't have to think or worry about their ceremony after hiring me.

I wrote the script because I'm a professional and know how to do them.

Ultimately you can google. And look up wedding ceremonies but I'd get a professional.

Please think about this. You've enlisted a vendor who literally doesn't know what they are doing. I don't recommend this to any one for any single element of their wedding. Much less the actual wedding ceremony itself. There is still time to hire a professional. Best wishes!

We are having a family member do ours too.

I found multiple scripts online as a base, and then personalized from there when I had an idea of the order and whatnot. I say script lightly though, because I was really looking for an outline to find a flow and order. Not sure if that helps

Lol at the pros saying "you must hire a pro" go figure. Even the professionals had their first wedding once upon a time. Anyway. I would go on YouTube and watch different ceremonies. Or idk if you mentioned it, talk to your aunt and see what she has to offer. You said she wants to make this her job once she retires, so she should have a few ideas up her sleeve already. Good luck.

It's the most important part of the day; i'd hire a professional, especially if you have no idea what you're doing.

Legalities aside, I would ask your aunt to do a reading or a poem or something and hire a professional.

I had a friend have her aunt officiate. She loves this aunt, the aunt HAD officiated other weddings before, she practiced etc. On the day of the wedding it did not go smooth. I was cringing for my friend. They aunt wanted to do a good job so badly that she was incredibly nervous so she had a couple drinks beforehand which didn't help. I think my friend regretted it. Not saying the same will happen to you but this post reminded me of the situation since you said your aunt so I just wanted to share. Something to think about.

@tealweddings, some states do not recognize online ordained members. I wanted my uncle to officiate but was told in my state(by County Clerk) the legalities of it is incredibly difficult.

I actually created my entire ceremony and handed it over to our officiant. He then tweaked it to add some of his wording along with what I had. It was perfect!

Yikes. This gives me anxiety just to think about. Make sure she knows all of the procedures for making it legal. I'd be more worried about that than the script!

My best friend wrote her own and it turned out beautifully, but it was very stressful for her. It took a lot of time. She googled and went through so many different templates then combined them to create her own.

I wouldn't suggest it, but that's an option.