How to order dessert options?

I'd talk to the bakeries you're considering to see what they'd suggest. If they've done larger events they'll have a good idea of how much to have.

I wouldn't do 1each per person, that's a lot of dessert to eat especially after dinner. I honestly would do about 80-100 TOTAL if anything. Not everyone will eat dessert, and not everyone will want all 3 desserts. It would definitely be a waste to have over 150 desserts for a 50 guest reception.

We are getting Married October 8, 2022 and we have the same question as you! I love the idea of pie - that's such a cute idea for a Fall wedding!! I think Yasmine's idea sounds about right!

Don’t have cake for cutting if you aren’t offering any to guests. You can cut a pie or any dessert for pictures. Whatever you serve, make sure there is enough of each for everyone.

I would probably order enough so that each guest could have one of each dessert. Will each guest actually eat one of each?.. probably not. But, I am a firm believer that you always err on the side of caution (ie, better to have too much of some thing than not enough), especially since pies and brownies tend to be inexpensive items. I would feel terrible if I had guests who only liked one type of dessert I offered, but it was gone before they got any. Yes, you’ll probably have leftovers, but you can provide to go boxes for guests to take some home. And you and your spouse can also take some with you for those late night munchies after the wedding! And you always have the option of allowing the serving staff to take leftovers.

We are doing a desert bar as well and it was suggested to me 2 pieces per person. We are about about 2.5 per person so I suspect extras

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Why can't she have a cake for cutting purposes? Many brides have done that/ are doing that now days, what's the problem with that? She's going to offer other dessert.

View Quoted Comment It’s not fair or polite to have something on display that is only for the couple or the wedding party to partake in and is off limits to the rest of the guests. The same way you would/should not serve steak and lobster to the head table only while everyone else is only offered chicken or vegetables. People don’t do this in their home at parties and a wedding is just a larger party that is too big for your home so you host it elsewhere, and so it makes the couple look elitist or selfish even if that’s not the intention.


A lot of things are done now that people would never do pre-pandemic for many reasons, the least of which is that etiquette (the art of navigating human social situations so there is the least amount of inconvenience for everyone involved) has been largely tossed out the window and people do whatever they want. Logically it make sense to say “oh we’re in a new situation so what is the best way to steer through this with the least inconvenience?” instead of “there’s no rules and we don’t have to follow courtesy anymore”. The latter is the unspoken message that is predominant right now.

There’s nothing wrong with having multiple options but either offer all options equally to everyone or don’t have the one you are keeping exclusive for yourself. Save the cake for another event.

I suggest you order 30 of each so your not wasting a lot on left overs

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I think that is definitely outdated and I personally wouldn't care if someone did that. If they are feeding me and paying for everything, why would I make a fuss about not having a piece of cake when they are offering other desserts? THAT just sounds selfish & ungrateful to me. If I am invited to a wedding I'm not about to sit and complain while being a guest, that's just crazy to me. If she wants to have a smaller cake for cutting purposes then she can do that, its her wedding her decision. I honestly just think that people make a fuss about EVERYTHINGGGG for no reason - it's not that serious.

I would say have about 35/40 servings of each...and it's perfectly acceptable to have a small cake for cutting for yourself because you said you are offering small cupcakes which is the same as cake just in an individual serving format....that way each guest is able to get some type of dessert if they desire..remember some guests won't eat dessert especially if you are providing alcohol..( doesn't mix well with sweets in my opinion)..

View Quoted Comment There have been a lot of really good points in multiple comments that I appreciate the insight on!


To address the cake thing, I personally have been to weddings where the bride and groom had a small 6-7in cake so they could have cake cutting pictures (that turned out super cute), then had cupcakes for the guests instead of sliced cake, and frankly the guests were talking about how they liked the decorated cupcakes more than a big piece of cake. We most likely would have some small cupcakes along with the pies and sweets. I totally see what you mean about etiquette especially now with the pandemic things, but frankly our wedding isn't super super formal to begin with, leaning more towards a bit rustic as it is at a casually dressed cottage on a vineyard. It isn't "elitest" in intention by only having 1 cake for us to slice, considering we wouldn't be eating more than a bite each for picture purposes, then we would be eating pies and cupcakes (or whatever else) with our guests. Also, my fiance is die hard for pie, haha. That isn't to say we don't value etiquette, but with our venue, layout, and guests, we just want something different 😊

View Quoted Comment Aww, almost wedding date twins! For us, we feel like it would make our venue cozy, with some little pies next to the fire pit on the patio 😍

Just want to add in case helpful that I hosted a party a couple years ago for 50 people and served several kinds of pie (from Trader Joe’s, they were great) and was shocked at how much people had! Most men came back for seconds. I’d account, as others suggested, for at least 3 slices pp. also, the vanilla ice cream melted too quickly so if I did a pie bar again would stick to whipped cream.