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Dedicated April 2021

How to narrow down guest list

Jasmine, on February 16, 2021 at 8:20 AM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 13
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At my last venue tour the venue coordinator asked me how many guest I was expecting and I told her around 60, which I told her during our first meeting. However, she stated that the room where we are holding our reception they are only allowed to seat 50 now, I believe due to COVID. Of course I was told this after I had sent out all of my save the dates. If 100% of the people we invited come, with their +1, we will have 66 guests. I already know of 5 guests that have told me that they won’t be able to come. So that knocks the list down to 61. So I need at least 11 more people, preferably 15 not to be able to come. I’m getting ready to send out my invites this week, but I’m not sure if I should send out my invites to everyone. I’m thinking of not including my cousin’s 3 kids, who are older, but I don’t want to offend my cousin and her husband. And there are 4 of my relatives from out of town who aren’t sure they will be able to come. But I don’t want to plan on them not coming and they do, or not invite them and there is plenty of room. The RSVPs are due on March 20th, but I’m so anxious about having too many people I can’t wait until then.

13 Comments

Latest activity by Sara M, on February 17, 2021 at 12:00 PM
  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    Would your cousin's kids be the only ones there? If so, then you can just make it known that your wedding is an adults only affair.

    You could also send out notices to those that you aren't going to be able to invite after all. A details card stating: Due to covid, we are unable to have.....etc. Our friends did this because they were in a similar situation. They had to cut their guest list down due to covid. They had a notice on their wedding website, spread it through word of mouth, but also sent out cards to those that couldn't come, informing them of the guest cut, and reasoning.

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  • Lauren
    Expert July 2021
    Lauren ·
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    I would cut the kids. A lot of weddings are adults only, they can’t really get that upset.
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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    I’m cutting out my brother’s kids because he has six, they all have spouses and kids, totaling 32 (and still in the baby having stages of life so who knows how many more by Oct 2022). I talked to him about it and he said “I don’t even invite them over at the same time!” so your cousins may not even mind!
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  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Cut plus ones first. They are always optional and most do not include them. Guests still have a great time. Same goes for coworkers.

    Make a list of those you cannot imagine the day without. Invite those and cut the rest.

    Alot of people say invite immediate family only and cut everyone else including best friends. That does not not work for most because many people do not have any relationship with immediate relatives and their best friends are their family. Also they may have a much closer relationship with extended relatives than their own parents/siblings which is not for anyone to judge.

    Cut random invites you are not close to (parents' friends/coworkers/acquaintances).

    Some people feel weddings are family events for all ages and others feel they have no business attending under 18. If you cut kids, be consistent including no flowerchildren/ringbearers. Guests will be offended but never say a word about you allowing one group to attend while the rest mist arrange childcare.

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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    I would suggest not inviting more than you’re allowed to have. I’d cut the out-of-state people. You can also eliminate the cousins. Just tell everyone it’s because of Covid and there’s nothing you can do.
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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    Is this your dream venue or something?
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  • Connie
    Dedicated December 2021
    Connie ·
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    What a sucky situation. Sorry you have to deal with this. If you aren't close with your cousins kids, just leave their name off the invitation. I doubt they would be offended, and it doesn't sound like they would need a baby sitter if they are older anyway. When you have a small wedding, people are more likely to come because they are all close to you at that point. I wouldn't invite more than you can seat if you can help it. Is there anyone else who can be cut? Maybe a coworker or your out of state family? Or any random plus ones of people that aren't in relationships. That is so tough because your numbers are so close and you have almost made it. Just blame it all on Covid when you tell anyone that you had to cut numbers.
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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    Hmmmm. Cut the kids out is my suggestion
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  • J
    Dedicated April 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    We love the venue and there is another area that we can hold the reception to accommodate more guests. However, it would cost us an additional $1500 just to use the space. We would rather cut back on a few guests than spend the extra money that we were not prepared for.
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  • J
    Dedicated April 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    Cutting the kids and random plus ones helped a lot, we are down 54! There are few extended family members that I’m inviting out of obligation but I am hoping my mom will be able to get an idea if they will be able to attend.
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  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Don't invite anyone out of obligation. You can meet with them at another time.

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  • T
    Devoted August 2020
    Tina ·
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    I would cut out the kids. See how it goes with the save the date may have more people saying no. I told them I can have 100 but with deaths and the virus I be happy with 50. It’s an unfortunate time. My party and venue split. Don’t over worked yourself into a big worry. People can understand because of the virus need to cut out some people.

    I suggest to ask people if they can come or not sooner than later.

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  • Sara M
    Dedicated June 2022
    Sara M ·
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    I agree with Dj Tanner don’t invite more than you can hold at ur venue! Blame it on covid best advantage right now for not inviting extras!!! You can always hold a small bbq celebration when everything gets better in related to covid !
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