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Anna
Beginner July 2023

How To Make a Choice on Venue and Start Planning!

Anna, on September 20, 2022 at 1:57 AM Posted in Planning 1 8

Before becoming engaged back in May, I had my whole wedding planned and I knew exactly what I wanted. Now that I am engaged I have planned my wedding about 5 times in 3 different cities and with different venues, vendors, and dates. I get to the point of signing a contract and then I get anxious and back out. I feel like every choice is not right. I am great at making choices in most other areas of my life, but everything with the wedding is so hard. I felt like I needed to make a choice so I impulsively bought the wrong wedding dress. The hard part is we have a limited budget, and a limited schedule. I am a grad student at the moment and only have certain times off of school. We also moved to Arizona and away from my family in Oregon. Our friends are also spread all over the country. We have debated having a wedding in Oregon (where all family could attend and little friends), Arizona (some friends and some family would attend), and now Mexico (where little family and little friends would attend). Weather is also tricky in each location in regards to the dates lining up with school schedule. Eloping is also on the table, but we really want our people there and to have the party. Both of our families are supportive in that they have no preference and say "whatever makes you happy, but if it's in that location I won't make it". I am glad I don't have an opinion from them, but it's sad no matter what location we pick we will miss a lot of people. Has anyone else dealt with indecision with your wedding or has any advice with how to pick a wedding destination?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Paige, on September 20, 2022 at 4:59 PM
  • Bailey
    Expert October 2023
    Bailey ·
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    Does your budget allot for you to get married in any of those places? Mexico is an incredibly cheap place to get married and you'd be surprised how many people are interested in going [mx bride here!]. But that being said, if you're on a budget the best way to plan accordingly would be so that you and FH are not traveling [no flights or hotels to pay for]. If you give guests enough time to plan, more will show up than you realize! Also, accept that certain people that you feel like are non-negotiable may not be there. It's the hard, sad part about planning a wedding destination style, whether that means MX or AZ or OR because it will be a destination wedding for at least some!

    Don't overthink it. Make a list of non-negotiables from your venue, followed by a "it would be nice if they had:" list. Go down the non-negotiables, if your venue doesn't hit all the boxes, move on. If it does, see which venue hits the most extra good stuff. No matter what venue you pick, there will be that "but what if" but honestly, it's irrelevant! See my comment on your dress post about "there will always be another one!"

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  • V
    Rockstar July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    To me it makes the least sense to have it in Mexico if you want most of your family and friends to be able to attend so I personally would narrow it down to either Arizona or Oregon. If it were between Oregon and Arizona I would select Oregon. The reason being that you said all your family would attend. To me it would be important to have my family in attendance and it might surprise you how many of your friends might actually attend. My husband and I have traveled pretty far for weddings so you never know your friends might be willing travel.
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  • Thomas
    Dedicated May 2023
    Thomas ·
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    I agree that Arizona or Oregon would be better.
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  • Frederic
    Dedicated October 2024
    Frederic ·
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    Planning is always the fun part..... wherever you choose just make sure that it fits you!
    Some like simple, some like elegant. Most try to stay traditional while others try to do a little twist..... once you've established your budget, that will help navigate on venues.
    Discover what speaks to you 2 within a wedding.....and build on that.
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  • Anna
    Beginner July 2023
    Anna ·
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    Thank you Bailey! I think the non-negotiables part is very helpful and anything outside of that is just extra or not needed. That will help when my FH and I discuss in narrowing down what we want. I got nervous about the Mexico wedding, as we were thinking maybe 30 people would come and it would be affordable, and as we discussed it with people, we had a larger interest and worried more like 75+ would come. That would make it much more expensive. If we go the Mexico route, we may try and pick a more affordable resort that will allow more people for a smaller cost!

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  • Anna
    Beginner July 2023
    Anna ·
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    That is a great point! The concern with Oregon is price and venue availability. The wedding season is so small in Oregon that venues are competitive and cost a lot! But I agree that family is very important.

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  • V
    Rockstar July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    My advice then would to make a budget for everything you want for your wedding. My husband and I made a spreadsheet so we knew exactly how much we were willing to dictate of our total budget to reach item. This helped us eliminate venues and vendors that were too expensive. I would also recommend making a full and complete guest list because things like caterers would need to know headcount and their pricing is normally based on number of people so you want to make sure you don't go over budget and that you'll be able to afford the number of people you plan on inviting. And yes you want to plan as if everyone invited will be attending which also means you want to make sure the venue can accommodate the number of people invited.
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  • Paige
    Rockstar October 2022
    Paige ·
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    Planning a wedding where everyone is able to make it is next to impossible. Someone on your list will have something already planned, something will happen last minute, etc. I'd suggest to plan it near where you live so you'll be able to tour venues, go to tastings, etc.

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