How to let go of bad feelings

Can i ask you why does it upset you if it's 3 weeks vs 4 weeks?

you said you wouldn't be as mad about 4 weeks vs 3 weeks.

i think you just have to realize that there are things out of your control, these are one of those things, and as valid as your feelings are, you just can either keep holding onto it and let it eat at you or let it go and be happy for your friend and continue on with your own plans anyway

View Quoted Comment Mostly just timing in between as I said for health concerns.

This is a tricky one but I think you did the right thing and didn't try to have her change the date. That said its ok to feel your feelings and covid concerns definitely add another layer to it. For me personally I find it best to give myself a few hours to feel my feelings and then write it all out and either rip it up, burn it, or delete. Once I get the feelings out I find it much easier to focus on the joyful things, a gratitude journal can also help. As far as the covid concerns go I d just be extra careful, wear a mask , wash hands /sanitize frequently. I hope you can enjoy both your friend's happy time and your own. *hugs*

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Thank you! I think writing down my feelings in a journal is a good idea. I'll try that and I like the idea of a gratitude journal

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Yessss this is such a good recommendation - I do it myself when I'm feeling really low about stuff out of my control, or just needing to vent in general without feeling like I'm unloading my burdens onto a friend or my FH! I agree that I think you did the best thing you could, and I loved that you mentioned you know you didn't have the right to getting a say in her decision. It sounds like you're a good friend, and the feelings you're having are valid - these two things don't have to be mutually exclusive. It's not just the health concerns, but there are the activities running up to the wedding as well that you're likely juggling to schedule and make sure they don't conflict with your friend's - it's an added layer of logistics that can make things more challenging. I think just let yourself be in your feelings, journal it out, talk with this community, and know that everything is going to work out and you're going to feel at peace with all of this! Focus your energy on doing things that bring you happiness and working on stuff that you do have control over (such as other wedding planning activities if you've enjoyed this!) - it'll keep your mind distracted until the moment passes

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Thank you! I am trying to channel it into the fun part of planning for what I have left on our list.

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Consider it a planned day-off from your own planning. Go enjoy life and celebrate your friends. I had to schedule a purposeful non-wedding planning evening for my spouse and me just to enjoy each other. We did this 3 days before our wedding and family flew in. Planned breaks are good for the soul.

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I like this idea a lot! It will be a long weekend trip so I definitely plan to enjoy myself at her wedding. Carving out some fun time before my own wedding also sound good.

View Quoted Comment Just to add another positive note to attending a wedding before yours is you can pay attention to any small details you might be forgetting or want to do slightly differently. Then you still have a few weeks to iron those out.

View Quoted Comment Great idea!

You can definitely take solace knowing that you handled the whole thing maturely

I think it's actually a great thing she's getting married ahead of you so that by the time your wedding comes around, she won't be stressed about her own wedding and able to focus her attention on being present at yours.

View Quoted Comment Absolutely! I still wish there was a little more time in between so I'm not stressing about my own day. But at least she'll have hers done! And I'll look at the celebration as a day to take a break from my stress and note if there's anything I may have missed.

My fiancé cousin pushed her wedding off two years. We booked ours last year for 10 days after her. She was totally okay with it and they’re even pushing off their honeymoon until after to be there for us which we never even asked for. We’re all really excited. Personally I would never expect someone else to put their lives on hold and plan their events around me because their life doesn’t revolve around me. I get the one day to be selfish and make things about me. MAYBE the weekend. I don’t get to expect other people to make me the priority in their life

View Quoted Comment Yes to each their own. But that doesn't answer or help with my question

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I'm not sure why it didn't help, but the idea that you get one day for your event or maybe the weekend is valid.