Hi everyone! I have a specific wedding invite conundrum and I'm hoping someone out there has been in this spot and can offer a strategy.
TLDR: What's the best way to proceed when you don't want to invite certain members of a family group to your wedding?
Longer version: My Moms side of the family is fairly small. But since my maternal grandparents have passed, we don't talk to much of that family anymore. One aunt and uncle (lets call them PAIR A) moved out of state, and their two children soon followed them to the same far flung state. My Moms other brother and his spouse (call them PAIR B) were already living in said state...but the uncle and aunt who moved there never even gave an address to their new place even though its only like 45 minutes away. My two cousins who followed their parents there are apparently both getting married this summer. I dont know their soon-to-be-spouses names, have never met them, dont even follow one cousin on any social media. I have not talked to this family in YEARS. We don't celebrate holidays with them anymore. My Mom will even find out that PAIR A has come back to our hometown area to visit people without telling her that he's there. And since I believe in surrounding myself and my fiancé with the people who love us on our big day, I have zero desire to have them there. They are not part of our story.
That being said, I would ideally like to invite PAIR B uncle and aunt since we are closer. AND I think I would like to invite my two older cousins who are the children of PAIR A uncle from his previous marriage. I guess I haven't seen them in a few years, but we at least stay in touch on social media and I went to one of their weddings. I have no idea if PAIR B or my two cousins (PAIR A's kids) will actually attend since my wedding will involve travel for all of them. But has anyone ever had to navigate inviting only part of a family like this? I don't want to be the one who starts family drama (esp since my Mom will be the one they most likely complain to if they do. It's also basically a family of polite New Englanders who prefer to keep things bottled instead of expressing feelings or arguing) but also really dont need them there. My family count is already way over my partner's and there are other folks who we would prefer to be able to fit into our count/budget who we actually spend time with, love dearly, and know us as a couple. Would appreciate any strategies that have worked for you with this kind of situation.
