How to inform guests of no "formal dinner"

You can do high top tables OR a buffet with chicken and steak....but not both!

The only time we have receptions without full seating, it is done entirely cocktail style. There is usually seating for 70% or so. There are also cocktail style tables peppered around.

I feel like you're looking at the problem from the wrong angle.

You're concerned that your guests won't realize there isn't assigned seating. What they will actually be concerned about is that the just filled up a plate with a steak and side dishes and walked away from the buffet only to see that every seat in the house is taken and there are a dozen other people milling around with full plates of food waiting for someone to get up.

Think about how you'd feel in that situation, and plan accordingly - whether that means changing the menu to finger foods, changing the guest list so everyone has somewhere to eat, or bringing in more tables and chairs. Do what you would want done if you were in their position.

You could get a bunch of hay bales and spread them across the room... isn't that whats "in" these days? lol

Hay bales are the WORST for people like me who have allergies!

I say seat for every but AND/or cocktail food. As a young person lupus I hate going to weddings where I have to stay in a seat all night no matter what so that I have it. Looking at me, you wouldn't consider me first priority for a seat. On the inside I'm often as arthritic as the elderly and it's really embarrassing if I don't know anyone there. If there's not a seat, I'll likely leave since I don't want to deal with it (I know rare case, but anecdotal evidence nonetheless)

A cocktail style wedding can absolutely work and provide a full dinner, but there is a lot more to it than just having seating for everyone. The dullest cocktail hours I've seen have been those where everyone loads up a plate and sits down. It sort of defeats the purpose of a cocktail style wedding.

You need portable food, served on stations around the room, not in a buffet line so people just go from one station to the next. (Think beef skewers instead of a slab of beef, fish tacos instead of a slab of salmon, chicken tenders instead of filets, mashed potatoes in martini glasses, soup shots, sliders) You need to have lots of different seating. You need passed hors d'oeuvres. You need to get rid of all the cues that people expect to orchestrate their evening; one hour of drinks--->introductions ---->first dance---> speeches-----> If your night progresses like that, of course people will expect a sit down meal, especially if you have all ten-tops.

I know lady monk... I'm allergic to hay... It was meant to be funny! It seems like all of these weddings on TV have people sitting on hay bales and it makes me want to cringe!

How is one expected to cut a steak with no seat and table? \You need to change the food you are serving if you're dead set on your venue.

I totally agree with Celia, i think a cocktail reception would be a lot of fun. maybe not if you have a large older group of guests. Take Celias suggestions on changing how the night is run.

Definitely go for it, just make sure people don't need to cut their food.

I personally prefer to graze, as long as there is enough food available all night would totally be happy.

I am not sure why there were so many troll comments, i don't think that there was anything outrageous in the OPs question.

Nothing outrageous at all, but the entire evening needs to be orchestrated differently. It's not just one element that needs to be re-thunk, lol. If you have a good caterer, they'll be able to do this well.

And as usual, the OP disappeared.

I have been to a wedding orchestrated exactly as Celia explained it. It wasn't ideal in my opinion, but it wasn't bad either. It was kind of a nice change of pace from the typical sit down/buffet banquet hall wedding.

I wouldn't be dancing at this reception. My feet would be ruined from all the standing around in high heels eating my dinner.

I agree that everyone needs a seat. While it would be kind of a pain, could you have some seating outside? I would make it more of a "heavy hors d'oeuvres and cocktails" party. You'll have to rethink your menu - but buffet is dinner. And everyone needs a place to sit for a dinner. If you have different types of seats all over the house (inside and out) it should be a hors d'oeuvres reception.

@Janeen that was going through my head too.... BYOC (bring your own chair) might have to add BYOT (bring your own table) as well.

I went to a wedding like this and it was horrible. People were fighting for a seat to eat dinner. They also ran out of food, and had a limited bar tab, so the person right before me was the first person to PAY for their own drink....talk about AWKWARD!!

I went to a wedding like this and it was horrible. People were fighting for a seat to eat dinner. They also ran out of food, and had a limited bar tab, so the person right before me was the first person to PAY for their own drink....talk about AWKWARD!!

Yes- Agree with Celia- I think the answer is to adjust your menu accordingly! I was super surprised at all the negative responses to this! In the region where I'm having my wedding my wedding planner flat out told me that I did not need seats for everyone and that it would be strange in that area to have that- apparently most weddings are cocktail style and the menu that my venue offered totally reflects that, most things are bite sized (think mini crab cakes, a mini lamb chop, etc) and the two main dishes we are offering can also be eaten with just a fork. We will have seating for 70-80% of the guests if everyone decides to sit at one time- but that would be a total nightmare! - its supposed to be more of a cocktail party with people floating from one room to another (one quieter room, one with the Dj and the dance floor, and the outside patio)

I think a lake house sounds like a great fit for this type of reception so I hope you're able to adjust the menu!

If you don't have room and can't change venues, then you need to change the menu to finger foods and do a cocktail reception. Think about doing stations with soup shooters, mini sandwiches like steak or burgers, kabobs, mini tacos just to name a few.