How to include my fmil in planning?

Invite her to meetings and tastings. Ask for her input on things like decor. Maybe give her a special project, something that you don’t feel that strongly about. She could be in charge of signage or decorating the cake table or something.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I'll try to think of something like that for her. I also don't want her to feel pressured at all! Basically, if she wants a project, I'm all about it, if she wants to just show up and be cute, lol I'm all about that too. She expressed interest when we first told her we got engaged but I'm an early planner, so I crossed off a lot already but there's still things to be done so I'm hoping she'll be drawn to something that I can release to her.

My FMIL wanted to help out with planning but we live 6 hours apart so I have been texting with her about decorations and she is in charge of the dress rehearsal as well

My FMIL has come to a lot of meetings with us. She came with us when we looked at a venue, and she met with our caterer when we had our consultation and we're going to have our tasting with him at her house. She hasn't seen my dress in person (I'm wearing my mother's) but I'm thinking of having her come with me when I take it to my great-aunt to have the sleeves and neckline fixed.

I'm going to send her pictures of invitations and decor that I like and get her opinion of stuff like that.

I would have her visit the venue with you and maybe go to your food tasting. Try to come up with s project she could do without much help from you. Good luck.

I asked my FMIL for opinions on decorations, flowers, etc. I also asked if she wants to help make centerpieces, set up, make cupcakes, etc. She was thrilled that I asked her and said she would love to help however she can.

We invited ours to the cake and rehearsal dinner tastings!

My FMIL lives two hours away so its hard for her to be completely involved. But every time I set up a new appointment or meeting, I text her the details and leave it up to her if she wants/can come or not. When we're making decisions on stuff, I try to ask her opinion so she knows that it matters too.

My MIL came to two venue tours, a catering tasting, I sent her pictures of dresses after I went shopping (I only went with my mom), asked her if she had any guests she wanted to invite, and we bought her dress so we went shopping for that together.

The best advice I have received so far is to "give your FMIL" a project of her own. With my family all living in another state, I have struggled with having my FMIL attend and know every detail because my own mother doesn't have that privilege of knowing/doing. I by no means have excluded her, (when I ordered sample flowers or invites, I showed her. As well as took her to the venue once we decided on it), but she has definitely come across as "entitled" to know and do, so I just inform after a decision is made verses asking for input.. BUT, I did give her a project.. She asked to make my FH's cake and so I said yes. It has forced me to "let go and let her just do whatever"

This was such a helpful topic. my FMIL is super opinionated, and usually has the opposite opinion I do, so I haven't involved her in much. But all these ideas that I could involve her in are right up her alley!

Invite her to the same things you do with your mom and include her in on the conversations. Make sure you get her opinion on things as well

View Quoted Comment I'll try, but I already know (especially since we're over a year out) that the kinds of thing me and my mom donate going to be overwhelming for her. I'll try to involve her when things are more solidified because I don't want her feeling obligated to do a bunch of stuff either

Depends on what you still need to do. Ask her input on small things as they come up (invitations, seating arrangements, wedding shoes, etc...). If decisions are mostly made, ask her to join in on practical stuff (taking the dress to the tailor, sending invitations, etc...). If that's all basically done, just keep her in the loop. Start a group text & so you can include her when you tell your mom/ FH the dress has arrived or the cake is confirmed.

Can she come with for bridesmaid dress shopping? Or can she come to one of your dress fittings. What about food tasting/ cake tasting. Can she do a venue walk through with you. Can you ask her opinion on invites/save the dates.

View Quoted Comment We're not having a bridal party, but a venue walkthrough and tasting is a great option!

Dress fittings is also another great option!