How to Include Future Sister in Law

I am not familiar with the role of personal attendant, what does that involve?

I don't think it would be rude not to include her in your wedding party, especially if she didn't include you in hers last year.

I dont think it would be rude at all to not include her. Plus she did not include you sooo.

Personally i would not.. stick with the ladies you have already asked

This is tough I know a lot of people on here are very pro it's your wedding do what you want but when it comes to in laws it can be tricky. Do you think if you don't make her a bridesmaid she will be offended by that? Will FMIL or FFIL feel a certain way about it?

Personally I would include her to keep things fair and to stay on the good side of all my future in laws these people can make your life hell if drama starts, plus FH is telling you the same thing so I feel like he knows it will start drama.

If your FI thinks she should be in the wedding party, he could invite her to be a groomswoman. It really makes more sense to have people choose those closest to them as their attendants than to have him try to choose your attendants or vice versa.

Wait, you threw her a shower and she's been rude to you since? Ummm, no don't make her a bridesmaid... forget that... I wouldn't even make her a personal attendant... guest only... period.

Maybe talk to the sister you are close to, and ask what her opinion is?

I respectfully disagree with this. Weddings aren't about "keeping things fair." They are about two people who love each other, and want to share that love with their nearest and dearest. The bride listed several reasons why she hasn't asked this SIL to be in her bridal party, so everyone should respect that. Choosing your bridal party should never be about obligation, fairness, keeping even numbers, etc. You should only choose people who are closest to you, support your marriage to FH, and are people you can't imagine being without on your special day. It's not even about "it's your wedding do what you want." It's about choosing people who mean the most to you in your world. This SIL doesn't fit the bill. I think it's admirable of the bride to want to include her somehow, but there are lots of other ways to do that.

I get what you are saying, but as a person who has seen stupid stuff like this literally split families apart I would avoid the drama. People can do whatever they want I would chose to please my FH and Future in laws but I understand if someone doesn't want to they shouldn't have to.

My good friend's husbands family don't speak to her at all because of similar situation as poster is describing. It's awful during the holidays for her, her and her husband fight about it all the time and she has said if she knew the fall out she would have just changed her mind, this is obviously an extreme situation but you never know how people are going to react to things. So for me better to avoid.