How to include a bride's male friend

Why is FH so against you having a male friend and a male friend in your bridal party?

You're right, don't ask him to be your personal attendant, that's really insulting.

You could let him give a reading if he is comfortable with that.

My FH is very traditional and isn't comfortable having a male stand on my side.

Why not ask him to do a reading! I incorporated 2 of my Best guy friends. One was our officiant and the other did a reading. It was perfect.

Marriage is about compromise and your FH needs to learn how to do that. I would never have let my FH dictate that a male friend could not have been one of my attendants.

It's not really your FH's place to dictate who is in your bridal party. I'd be concerned about that "hard no" that he is giving you. Gotta have good communication in a marriage and this doesn't sound like a good start to that

I have close guy friends and honestly I don't think a single one would want the fuss of having to be in the BP or being a reader.

Your FH needs to get over it. He is your close friend and it is very important to you to include him. My sister doesn't want to be a bridesmaid, so she is doing a reading. Have him do a reading since your FH won't budge.

If he does do a reading, how do I incorporate him into the head table?

@Sarah Does your FH not approve of him as your friend? Why can't he stand on your side?

Your FH needs to discuss this with you. A hard no is never okay in wedding planning. A marriage is about compromise and his approach of categorically shutting you down will continue into marriage if you don't work to communicate with him and compromise

I wanted a super small bridal party and short ceremony, but I'm in the same situation with a couple close guy friends. I'm thinking of having them escort my mom and grandma (who doesn't have an escort) down the aisle. They're both very important to me and I thought that would be an appropriate way to include them without having ushers.

It is super weird that your husband cares that you want a man to stand on your side as part of the bridal party.

I am not sure exactly why my FH is so against it. It might be because my friend is gay and we are getting married in Catholic church and my FH is worried what people will think?

And also, my FH's vision of a compromise is making my friend an usher or PA or reader..

I would be concerned that his idea of a compromise will always be you agreeing to do whatever he dictates.

Screw the judgmental people. Have whoever you want by your side

@Sarah It's important to communicate with your FH on this point. Will he always expect his opinion to be the chosen direction in the marriage? Your friend's sexuality has nothing to do with anything. So what who cares what people think? Are you embarrassed by your friend's sexuality (I'm assuming not?)? If you want him honored as a BP member you should be able to pick without input. I didn't dictate who was my DH's GM and his BFF (who is a woman) was a GW.

@Sarah, I would not be marrying someone who said I couldn't have a male friend on my side. That is sexist and if it's because he is gay, completely homophobic. Do NOT let him dictate who YOUR bridesmaids are. If I was your friend and I knew that was the reason I wasn't chosen as a bridesmaid, I would be so freaking hurt. And probably have deep resentment towards your FH.

I wouldn't let FH dictate who I included in the bridal party. He can pick the people he wants and you pick the ones you want.

My best friend is gay and he was my man of honor. It was my choice to have him stand up there and he was absolutely going to be part of the wedding party, no questions asked. Sorry but if my H had told me that he was uncomfortable with that, then we would have had issues. My friend, my choice. Not his. I would not have stood for this at all.

I find this very troubling and if I were your friend I would be very hurt that you were treating me as an embarrassment.

The closest people to my FH are all women (he was the "token" guy friend in their friend group through college and beyond). You know what I am doing about that- bending over backwards to make sure they are honored and are included in everything. These are people who helped shape FH into the man he is today, and I am thrilled that they are important enough for him to want them to stand at his side.

Your FH needs to take two steps back and reassess what it means to have somebody in the wedding party. It is isn't for looks, an invitation to judge or mock, or a reason to be jealous. It is to honor the people closest to you.