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Sasha
Dedicated September 2019

How to help guests get to know each other at Destination Wedding?

Sasha, on August 19, 2019 at 12:29 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

Any ideas on how to help people get to know each other? We're spending a week in Costa Rica and it's several pockets of friends, many haven't met each other, and there's one single lady coming who has not met anyone there except me.

Me & FH arrive Tuesday

10 people come Wed

20 people come Thursday

4 people come Friday

Friday night - Rehearsal Dinner

Saturday - Wedding

Monday - Group fishing trip (some go home)

Tuesday - Everyone else goes home)

I was thinking of putting some kind of scavenger hunt that will be finished at the rehearsal dinner - to encourage them to go up to other guests and ask questions. If they don't want to play, no biggie, but if they want to, it will help them meet each other ahead of time. Then whoever wins I can give a prize at the dinner....

Do you guys think that would be fun, or more annoying for them?

6 Comments

Latest activity by Sasha, on September 7, 2019 at 9:30 PM
  • Wendy
    Super August 2021
    Wendy ·
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    I am also having a DW.. in Cancún, and I been thinking about the same thing.. I have decided to do welcome drinks around 6-7pm on Friday, wedding is on Saturday... I want to add a bomb-fire with marshmallows and music as well so that people get to know each other.. and some type of active excursion during the day on Friday for those who want to join... I honestly wouldn’t want to do a scavenger hunt if I was a guest and I know my guests wouldn’t want to either.. I think it’ll depend on your crowd... do you have any other ideas??
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  • Sasha
    Dedicated September 2019
    Sasha ·
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    I like the fire/marshmallows idea!

    Was also thinking about a volleyball game in the pool on Friday or something like that... but I know some people already booked their own excursions.

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    I think a scavenger hunt with people you do not know yet would be really annoying before the rehearsal dinner . Having travelled all the way to Costa Rica, I would want to see the area, or mix with the people. Not okay a silly game with folks from home. Generally I have no goal of getting to know the people from other parts of the couple's life, beyond pleasant social chat during the reception. I would be more interested in Costa Rica, and my own SO or any friends there, than getting to know the couple's aunts and uncles, or their teenage to young twenties. Either the bride or the groom is attached to all the guests.
    A chief complaint in some wedding parties that turned awkward, or downright miserable, was when out of the blue, the bride started organizing social stuff and spa days and dinners over a period of months, so her bridesmaids from different parts of her life would become friends. And people resented it, the way they resent it when someone sets them up for blind dates without asking, do you want to meet this person? Or do you even want to make a new friend? Each time it caused some BM to back away ( so bride upset they were not supportive). And others to outright tell the bride off, when after repeatedly having people say, stop trying to make us friends, she would push a new social event. I think at a destination wedding, social engineering to get people together, instead of normal tourist things, is a bad idea. Introduce people, yes. Investigate the available things to do, like guidebooks, fine. Help make it easier for them to explore. But no party games, no scavenger hunt, no sports that require a group so people feel obliged to do things . When in Costa Rica, do things having to do with Costa Rica, not spending time meeting other people from the US, doing back home type activities.
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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    I used to be a corporate trainer and we did something similar at the start of multi-day off-site training programs. I'm also an introvert.... Even though it was a pretty commonly accepted Employee Development practice at the time, I hated it and I think many participants did. I agree with others that people who have chosen to attend your multi-day DW either are making their own plans and/or have the social skills to introduce themselves and chat with others who are there for your wedding, if they want to.

    As an alternative, you might let your guests know in advance a couple places you and FH are going to be hanging out at different times on Wednesday and Thursday, and make sure they have a way to reach you once they arrive. That way if people arrive and feel a bit lost/without anyone to hang with (like your single guest), they can "meet you by the pool after 4 Wednesday" or "at the resort restaurant for lunch Thursday," etc. At daughter's wedding, we invited all OOT guests to the rehearsal dinner, and without any prompting from us they all interacted and had a great time.

    I understand you want to be thoughtful about your guests' comfort, but I don't think you have to plan much. Good luck!

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  • Jazmin
    Super April 2019
    Jazmin ·
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    Maybe include more people at the rehearsal dinner. In our case, we had a DW and we decided to invite all the guests to our rehearsal dinner, we ate traditional food from that country and even practiced traditional dances so that they had an idea on how to dance on the wedding day.


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  • Sasha
    Dedicated September 2019
    Sasha ·
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    Hey guys, thanks for the feedback. I ended up including a little "Know your guests" scavenger hunt with a question about each person and the other guests had to figure out who was who. It was optional to play, but it seemed to be a fun conversation starter. In the end we gave a bag of costa rica chocolate to the winner, only 2 people turned them in, out of 34 guests.

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