My husband I got engaged last February and were married in October. We got married faster, because all the spots for this year were booking up fast and we wanted to get married, then find a house and then have kids. We are working on the house now. Covid lasted a lot longer than we all expected, but Covid has not been a problem, even living together in close quarters. The issue lies the events of our rehearsal dinner and wedding day.
My husband is from New Orleans and we live in MD. After looking at the logistics of planning a fast wedding, MD just made more sense. My husband gave me pretty full reign to plan the wedding and he and his family agreed to do the rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal dinner was fun and very new Orleans-themed. As nice as it was I did feel like it competed with the wedding and was a little irritated at it. My problem was the bartender was terrible and was pouring heavy drinks. My husband has trouble with alcohol but has improved. When I got him to the hotel the night before our wedding, my cousins asked if we wanted to hang out. Somehow they ended up in my husband's room and were loud and rowdy. My cousins disrespectful to our requests to quiet down and the night ended with Security escorting everyone back to their room. I was furious.I was up till 3AM trying to get my husband to calm down and sleep while I was in my room on the phone with him.
I spent the morning getting ready for my wedding in tears and concerned about my future husband and the rift that was now going on. Our wedding was beautiful and we were so touched by all who came out.
I agreed to ban the cousin who was the root of the issues the night before from the after-party. Even when that cousin's siblings came to me and asked to have it changed. When these cousins approached me about it, I got upset and excused myself for a minute to compose myself. When I returned to the party I found my husband yelling at the cousin who caused the issues the night before. I had to step between them because I thought my husband was going to hit my cousin. I tried to talk my husband down and talk about my plans for going to the after-party and then spending some time with my cousins. He took that as a betrayal. He later cornered my aunt and mom trying to get them to take sides. I also later learned his sister went after my mother at some point when things exploded. Half my guests said goodbye to me while I was in tears because I felt stuck between my husband and my family.
Our whole honeymoon the pain and upset from the wedding followed us. We ended up going back to our couples counselor and I thought we moved past it. He just brought it up again last night and I felt so attacked. I also never have really felt like he heard what my family was saying to him at the wedding to diffuse the situation, or has been able to put his own feelings aside to really try and see how I was hurt and affected in this. I am feeling sad and am hoping we can move past this in time. We are going back to therapy again.
Any thoughts, insights, or advice would be greatly appreciated. Sorry, this was so long.