How to handle difficult family members?

It's your wedding. You decide. They should support you no matter what your choice is!

I've had similar issues. If I didn't discuss things with them, they'd keep asking, and if I mentioned that I felt they were pressuring us too much, they'd dismiss the comments they've made as "jokes" and wouldn't stop. What helped me was just to listen to their opinions, tell them that we'd "keep that in mind when making a decision", then just make whatever plans I wanted to with my FH. They got over their opinions not being used quicker than they got over being told not to give them in the first place.

Ever heard of the three Fs? They apply.

It's unlikely that simply not bringing it up with stop them from giving their opinion. Best you can do is decide between yourselves (meaning just you & FH, don't talk to anyone else, that's what WW is for, you can talk to us about it). Then once you decide it's set there is no need to explain or talk about it. If they bring it up, it doesn't matter the decision has already been made.

The best way is to just not discuss it. If they ask a question and then complain at the answer, practice the responses 'We'll keep that in mind' or 'we'll take that into consideration, but we ultimately want to plan the wedding that suits us best'.

Stop sharing wedding info with them.

I wouldn't take it to heart-and I don't think it would be rude to answer back, "Well, we're doing it this way." "I'm not changing my mind/it's already decided" work too. Repeat as necessary. If you plan on having children with him later, expect that your children will be very opinionated as well. Best to just get used to it.

I have been dealing with something similar with FH's family. They're extremely opinionated and, yet, they're not contributing anything, really. Meanwhile, my family has done nothing but donate time, effort, and some money (my grandmother purchased my dress) and they have been absolutely supportive of everything we want. They wanted to add to the guest list and we tried using the excuse that the venue "couldn't accommodate more people." Their response? Find a new venue!!! Ugh. We learned the lesson the hard way to not share wedding details with them. These are EXTREMELY outspoken, loud and opinionated people. While I love all of them, it's definitely made wedding planning a bit exhausting.

Thanks for all the feedback! We haven't been bringing up wedding stuff with them- they ask directly and then just say their opinion (even if we don't give them a direct answer). So the responses you guys suggested will be helpful! It's also good to know other people are dealing with the same things too! We love them but it's tough dealing with them when they're acting like this...

Stay on the same page when dealing with his family. Let him take the lead in managing them for sure. Have your FI deliver any disappointing news, and be with him to present a united front. As PP's have said try and avoid sharing details with them. Use phrases like "oh, we want it to be a surprise". Also try not to compare his family with yours, they're just different.

You just have to plan it as you want. I know how you feel though! My mom really wanted us to use a certain caterer (we were deciding between two) and after a tasting (which she didn't attend!) We were talking about hownwe really liked the salad and she said, "I don't know who will eat that!" Even though it is nothing weird. People have very strong opinions and everyone seems to think you want their advice for planning your wedding. I have learned to listen, but ultimately do what FH and I want. Goos thing - Once you make the big decisions Ppl calm down and leave you alone.

Also, tell them they are hurting your feelings. That is what I would uo doing with my Mom and she has calmed it down.