How to fill the space between end of reception and cocktail hour

Music and finger food

View Quoted Comment Vicki, as stated in previous comments, extending cocktail hour is not an option from a cost perspective. Also, we are not "making" them use our transportation. The transport back and forth is part of the service for the transport we are using. They absolutely have to option to drive themselves and try to find parking, however, parking near the church is very limited and they may have trouble doing so, but they have a choice. Getting another bus isn't an option either, since the company we are using only has 3 buses and the other two are already reserved. Additionally, setting up refreshments at the church may not be an option either, again, as previously stated, our ceremony venue has very strict guidelines and this seems quite outside that, as well as having time restrictions.


Our guests are absolutely our priority, however, cost is a factor and you simply can't make something out of nothing. I'm sorry if you don't like my choices, hell, I ain't crazy about them either - but it is what it is. I also don't think "bad etiquette" is in play here since I AM seeking to find ways to keep people entertained during the half hour - 45 minutes they'll be waiting. See? My guest ARE my priority. It may not be the way YOU - or others - would like...but, again...it is what it is.

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This is also my suggestion.

If you can't hire extra transportation to ensure all guests arrive around the same time, then I would start cocktail hour once the first guests arrive and just make it longer than 1 hour. The point of cocktail hour is to kill time.

This happened at my cousin's wedding. Church was 1-2 and cocktail wasn't until 4, we all killed time at a bar down the road that the bride and groom recommended! It was great.

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Trying to keep people entertained does not negate the bad etiquette of keeping people waiting. I empathize that the choices will cost you money, but I would strongly suggest you rearrange your budget to find the money. This is more important than, e.g., flowers or other decor. Trying to find a magic solution that doesn't actually cost you any money doesn't necessarily indicate that your guests are your priority.

If your guests can't even wait at the ceremony site because of the venue time restrictions, where are they going to be waiting for the bus? Where would they even do lawn games if you had them?

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I'm sorry, but I don't see how it is that YOU get to tell ME what's important to MY wedding. You can make all the suggestions you want, however strongly you want, but unless you're sending me a check, your "strong suggestions" ain't paying the bills. You clearly have your own ideas about MY wedding, so much so that you either didn't read my comments, or inserted your own language in your head as you read them. I never said they couldn't wait at the church. What I said was, being able to offer a table of refreshments might not be possible because of the time restrictions. I also never said anything about "lawn games". I did mentions games, but my thinking was things that people can do in the reception space -- like checkers, Uno, card games, etc. I may even do something that will end up with a prize or two, like a large photo collage where they will have to find hidden objects. THAT'S the kind of thing I was asking for suggestions about. NOT how to spend more money than I have to spend.

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Exactly this. You have 7 months to figure out the timing issue. From what I've done in wedding catering, for a small guest count it's really not much more to extend cocktail hour by a half hour, or to start it when the first guests arrive. I would be hungry and probably annoyed depending on the time the ceremony/cocktail hour/reception dinner started. Perhaps you can have something even as simple as popcorn or crackers or something they can hold and eat, that isn't too messy, and that they could take on the bus if they needed to? Cut down on something like decor, or cut down your flower costs. In the end, your guests will remember their experience and not small details that we, as brides, tend to focus on. I think you should at least speak with the hotel and your caterers about how much more it would cost to extend it. You can even make the appetizers less expensive so that you can have more of them. Consider also, that while your guests won't be spending the entire day getting ready like the bridal party, they will have spent time/energy/money to look good and celebrate with you.

Good luck

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How do the time restrictions keep you from being able to offer refreshments at the ceremony venue, but don't keep you from having your guests stand around in that space for 30-45 minutes waiting for the bus to come back?

It sounds like you're only concerned with keeping the guests waiting at the reception venue entertained, not the guests waiting at the ceremony venue? Is that correct?

Honestly and frankly, whatever games you want to have, you should also have food and drink. I know you don't want to hear it, but that doesn't make it not true.

Wow. I just want to say that I agree with everything Vicky has said. She has tried to help you see that what you are asking of your guests is rude. But hey you do you and good luck on your wedding.

View Quoted Comment Hey, you can agree if you want. That's cool. But I still contend that she wasn't really "helping". If suggestions had followed the lines of the question I asked, THAT would be helpful. And the fact that she continued to offer the same suggestions, regardless of anything else, again...not so much on the helping thing. C'est la vie.

That's a long time to have people standing waiting for food and drink. Can you offer them something light to chew on while they wait? For instance, in the church foyer, you could offer them bottled water. Nothing fancy, just cold water, and at the hotel, fruit and vegetable platters. If you hired a DJ, ask him to play some instrumental music until the cocktail hour starts.