Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Devoted January 2021

How to explain “eloping” plans

gratia01, on April 16, 2020 at 3:15 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 4

Saved

Flag
Hide content

With all the uncertainty in the world right now, my fiancé and I feel like we just want to get married as soon as possible rather than waiting until January when we originally set our date. Neither of us are in ideal living situations, we are tired of waiting, and the idea of spending almost $15,000 on a single day seems ridiculous and is overwhelming to both of us. If we can get permission from our priest, we are planning to cancel the “wedding“ and just have a small ceremony with our families in a month or two. I am wondering what I should tell my wedding guests if we decide to do that. There’s less than 100 of them, and I can easily contact everyone. I don’t want to tell them that the wedding is “canceled“ because we’re still getting married, but obviously I’m not going to invite 80 people (mostly from out of state) to watch us say our vows and then have to go home without having a party or anything. We have already sent out save the dates, but not any formal invitations for our wedding. I’m thinking I might tell them we are “postponing“, and then post some sort of marriage announcement on our Facebook pages which explains things a little better, like how it was a private ceremony with our parents and siblings only. Would that be rude? I’m sure plenty of people are in similar situations right now with the virus happening and I’d just like to get an idea of what you all are doing. Thanks!!

Flag
Hide content

4 Comments

Latest activity by gratia01, on April 17, 2020 at 2:35 AM

Beginner March 2020
Rosene · on April 16, 2020 at 8:42 AM
Flag

Hide content
Hey girl! I understand your dilemma; there were a few of our friends whose weddings we were "uninvited" to because of corona. I know it's not quite the same situation but i think you could handle it similarly. In my friends' cases they sent out a message saying there would be a small family only wedding and unfortunately we would no longer be able to attend. I think it would be nice to tell your guests that directly instead of saying the wedding is "postponed" (unless you plan to have a ceremony or reception with all of them later).
Something like this: During these uncertain times, we want to hold onto what is dear: each other. We are forgoing our plans of a large ceremony and saying our vows in the presence of our family. Celebrate with us in spirit on ___(date).
In light of current circumstances, I'm sure your guests will understand. Best wishes
- Reply
VIP January 2019
Maggie · on April 16, 2020 at 12:31 PM
Flag

Hide content
What you are deciding to do makes complete sense and is a very reasonable way to go about getting married. If I were you, I would own your decision to have a private ceremony and don't worry about trying to explain it, apologize, or put anything in quotes as if this won't be a real wedding. It will definitely be a real wedding!
You do of course need to tell people to unsave the date, which I know you are planning on doing. But I would just call, email, or text (however you usually communicate with each guest) your invitees to say your plans have changed and you are now getting married in a private ceremony. Don't worry about finding the perfect words or explain too much. Keep it simple and know you are doing the right thing.
- Reply
Devoted January 2021
gratia01 · on April 17, 2020 at 2:34 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Thank you! It helps to know what kind of route other couples with this. I’m not sure we will do a larger celebration in the future so I agree it would be best not to say it’s postponed.
- Reply

Devoted January 2021
gratia01 · on April 17, 2020 at 2:35 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
That seems reasonable. I’m not too worried about hurting feelings at least, I’m confident everyone will understand. It’s hard figuring out etiquette with this stuff!
- Reply