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Savvy April 2020

How to exclude one friend from the bachelorette?

Mrsn2020, on November 11, 2019 at 2:39 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8
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I have a friend, let's call her Rey.
She was my best friend in college but now we are definitely not as close since we don't see each other as much. She is still a good friend and invited to the wedding.
I don't want to invite her to my bachelorette.

She is a mean drunk. And none of my friends like Rey for personal reasons. She has already asked me if she is invited to my bachelorette and I told her no because we haven't hung out regularly. She was okay with that answer.

But I have another friend, let's call her Sam. I have not hung out with Sam for a while either but she is fun and we get along great. I want to invite her to the bachelorette though! She also recently gave me a generous wedding gift and has been offering to help in any way for the wedding. Not to mention she will be hurt if I don't invite her to the bachelorette.

Sam and Rey know each other. And Rey would be so upset if Sam was invited and she wasn't.

My question is...is it wrong not to invite Sam, who has been a very supportive friend, to my bachelorette because I know it will upset Rey?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Alex, on November 12, 2019 at 1:40 PM
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    Normally you only invite those in the wedding party to your bachelorette party. I understand Sam is a close friend, but I think inviting her would cause you extra unnecessary drama and stress so I probably wouldn't invite her.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    It's definitely not true that only the wedding party is invited to the bachelorette. I don't think it's wrong to invite one friend and not the other, you just need to understand that it may cause some ill feelings. I would really weigh the pros and cons.

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  • Jill
    Jill ·
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    Every bachlorette party I've ever been to included both people in the wedding party and close friends. Definitely not the norm to only invite the wedding party.

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  • Laree's
    Devoted May 2022
    Laree's ·
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    I would invite everyone I want there. If “Rey” has an issue after the fact, be honest with her. Tell her you love her but she tends to be a mean drunk and has been that way with a few friends in the past and you wanted your bachelorette to be drama free. I believe in honesty even if it hurts. Maybe she needs to hear it to better herself and if she wants to cut you out for being honest then that’s on her. Sam shouldn’t have to miss out because she knows Rey. And you shouldn’t have to miss out having a good friend there for the same reason.
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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    If you want Sam there, invite her! It's not Rey's party, it's yours! Smiley smile

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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    I would invite whoever you want to invite! Sam and Rey are both adults who can put aside their differences for a day to support you, if they're willing to!

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I understand because there are people I like but would not want at my bachelorette. I think you should make a day of it and maybe hold a brunch where you can invite people not coming to your bachelorette like this Rey and then the bachelorette a more private event which is what I want. If you are very concerned I would ask everyone attending to not post pics on social media or share with anyone to avoid hurt feelings. At the end of the day you want to avoid drama so if Rey is going to bring it then best to not include her.

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  • A
    Super August 2020
    Alex ·
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    You can invite who ever you want to your bachelorette party. It is super common these days to include more than just bridesmaids.

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