How to enjoy your wedding/ process with divorced parents?

My parents aren't divorced, but they might as well be. They've been miserable through their whole marriage, so I wouldn't be surprised if they broke into an outrage at my wedding honestly. It's a sad situation but I would talk to each of them individually and just let them know how important it is to you that they help you make this a drama-free day. You can ask them what types of roles they'd prefer to be in, that way you know what they want to be more involved in during the planning process. Even though I see my parents bickering almost daily, I think they will be more mindful on the wedding day and do their best to avoid conflict. I'm sorry you're having worries about this, best of luck!

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Haha I hate having to talk to them but that's probably the best way to avoid as much drama on the day of. It kind of helps that I live states away from both of them, I guess ha. I am sorry your parents are so miserable and make it harder on you to enjoy things. I hope they can keep it under control for such a special day.

I wish you the best of luck! and thank you!

Simple. You tell them the day is not abt them and they need to be o their best behavior!

*most* of the time, divorced parents can put aside their drama to let their child actually enjoy their wedding... but not always. My parents aren't only divorced, they're annulled. In addition, my sister and brother when no-contact with my father. So yeah, drama was a concern..

I did so much pre-planning to mitigate it, and that was the most stress in my entire planning process. This included separate tables, making sure there was no 'his/hers' side, making sure they were equally (but separately involved), and the biggest one was having eyes and ears. During the ceremony, I had about 3-4 different people who knew enough and were assigned to watch out for it. These people, and my parents, knew the 'rents could get kicked out if they started acting up.

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Yeah that'll definitely help ease the tension I'm sure. I'm sorry you had to deal with this, best of luck to you too and happy planning!

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Haha, my father-in-law has already told me that if they act up at all he threatens to kick them out to keep the peace. Ha I know he means well, but yeah I think I'd rather pick the people who know the situation and them a bit better to make that call. It is so hard to make sure that they are both equally and separately involved, specially since they're both remarried and their spouses want a role in it all too. It kind of helps that I don't live close to either so I can kind of say no one is involved ha, but doesn't really make people happy.

I'm so sorry you planing and wedding were that stressful! Thank you for the tips though, I might have a few people in place just to keep an eye/ear out for things. I hope between the stress you got to enjoy your special day

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No problem. Remember, equally but separately doesn't mean a lot of involvement. My mom was around for the dress, took her to the caterer (because she has a lot of dietary restrictions), and she helped me make favors. That's it. I also added a buffer every time except the favors... and I should have had a buffer during the favors too. She went on a tirade about dad during it >.< I eventually turned on 'say yes to the dress' so her criticism would have a different direction...

My parents have been divorced for 23 years and are still angry. I just plan the wedding without them, answer questions if they ask. They aren’t participating in actual planning so there’s no reason for them to communicate or for me to talk about them to each other. My mom will walk with my brother and light a candle, my dad will walk me down the aisle. They’ll have separate assigned ceremony seats. My stepmom planned a bridal shower, my mom was a little pissed and didn’t go, life went on. One thing I specifically did was have table themes instead of numbers since I don’t want my mom to say why is your dad at table one and I’m at table two, etc. my fiancé’s dad may not come to the wedding bc of his ex wife (fiancé’s mom) but if that’s the case I can’t chase him down or force him. If he does come they’ll have assigned seats far away from each other for both ceremony and reception.

My son got married last year and prior to the wedding he sat down with my ex and I and reminded us that the day was NOT about us. He told us that if either of us said or did anything to make anyone uncomfortable he would ask us to leave. I totally agreed with him and things were fine. It’s important to set the stage with them. And ask how they would each like to participate in YOUR special day. Hopefully it all works out for you! Good luck!

I had a stern conversation with both of my parents (separately, of course) that they are to be on their best behavior that day, or else. Both have promised to behave. Really, it's ridiculous-they split up close to 40 years ago, get over it already!