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Tara
Savvy August 2020

How to downsize my wedding?

Tara, on June 14, 2020 at 4:09 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7

Hi all! I was supposed to get married on 10/31 this year but my fiance and I decided to cancel due to covid. Unfortunately, we had sent out our save the dates about two weeks before all of this started to go down.

We've now decided to have a small, socially distanced backyard wedding in August. Our (rough) plan is to have our immediate family and close friends come in shifts, ending the night with a friends-only camp out.

Here's the issue: what is the best way to communicate this change in plans to the guests we can no longer accommodate? It feels insincere to say we canceled, since we are still having a wedding of sorts; but the original event is canceled. I would ordinarily never dream of un-inviting someone but this is definitely uncharted territory. Does anyone have any thoughts?

7 Comments

Latest activity by Tara, on June 30, 2020 at 1:46 PM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    Can you live stream it ? That way they’re still partaking in it without actually being there ?
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  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    Someone posted a lovely letter her and her FH wrote to their original guests explaining the situation and that unfortunately they were not able to include everyone. I think that’s your best bet, a nice letter to those you have to uninvite.


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  • Renee
    Super June 2020
    Renee ·
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    Like others have posted, a nice letter would be sufficient. Everyone is aware of the circumstances and will understand.
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  • Tara
    Savvy August 2020
    Tara ·
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    Thanks for the feedback. Yes, this seems like the best way to go.

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  • Jill
    Jill ·
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    Having people coming in shifts makes it sound like a tiered wedding. Will the people that come for the last shift be offered the same food as the first shift? Will you be able to keep the food fresh for that long?

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  • K
    Beginner August 2020
    Kaylie ·
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    I just did this as well Smiley sad We printed announcements that said we were downsizing on one side, and on the other we said something like: With heavy hearts, we've decided we can't move forward because we value your health and our health too much to risk it. Instead, we will be celebrating with only immediate family and attendants. We're thankful to have you in our lives and grateful for your understanding. Something like that. Feel free to steal wording if helpful. Sorry your plans had to change :/

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  • Tara
    Savvy August 2020
    Tara ·
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    Ah, this is so helpful! Thanks! Hopefully our rescheduled weddings will be just as lovely Smiley smile

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