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VIP September 2014

How to Decline A Shower?

Courtney, on November 28, 2013 at 1:00 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 4

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Looking for some advice on how to handle this situation. My parent's church (and the church I grew up in, though I no longer attend) has a "Shower Committee." The ladies on the committee approached my mom and told her they are planning to host a shower for me and wanted to know what date worked for us.

Both my mom and I agree that having the church ladies host a shower might not be in good taste since we're only inviting a handful of people from the church - due to space.

I don't want to sound rude or ungrateful, but I don't want to end up in a situation where I get gifts from people who I'm not inviting to the wedding (many of the uninvited are on the committee!).

What would you do? Have any of you declined a shower?

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4 Comments

Latest activity by Courtney, on November 28, 2013 at 5:41 AM

Super January 2014
Shannon Giraffes. · on November 28, 2013 at 1:12 AM
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I think it's actually common for some of the uninvited folk to attend the shower (because a lot of them, especially from a church or old friends of your mother, want to get you a gift regardless). I suppose you could say that your bridesmaids are already hosting one? And then you could invite them.

I think it really depends on the social dynamic there............it may really be expected that you do it. maybe just roll with it...it might be fun and not nearly as awkward as you think
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Master May 2014
LB · on November 28, 2013 at 4:37 AM
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Totally refreshing to find another bride who's not interested in a gift grab! Yahooo!
It's also refreshing that the church ladies want to throw you a shower. Totally sweet of them and I'm sure they realize they may not all receive invitations.

Be firm in your "No thank you." Tell them you're not comfortable and you appreciate the suggestion but you do not want a shower. Your mom can mention that the wedding will be small.

I've had to explain multiple times that I don't want a shower. Honestly, it would embarrass me. When someone realizes you're serious, they usually stop bugging you about it. Good luck!
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Super March 2014
shirlden · on November 28, 2013 at 5:12 AM
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I agree with Livelybride Just tell them no thanks you are having a small wedding and are not interested but really appreciate the thought.
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VIP September 2014
Courtney · on November 28, 2013 at 5:41 AM
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Thank you all! It is such a sweet gesture and I know they mean well, but I just don't feel right about taking gifts from uninvited people! Hopefully a firm (but nice) no will work!

@LivelyBride. Yes, no gift grabbing here! FH and I have been living together for 4 years that LAST thing we need is more junk in our tiny apartment!
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