How to cut down your bridal party w/o hurting feelings?

Well I don't see any good way of doing this, except maybe for the ones with attitudes just sit down and talk to them

If you've already asked them, there really isn't a good way,to unask them, but you have a little time. Maybe have a talk with them and say nicely that they don't seem to be as enthusiastic as they were when you asked. Make it clear that you want it to be fun for everyone, and you really won't be offended if they want to bow out; maybe they'd like to do a reading, or help in some other way that would be more comfortable for THEM. I think by wrapping this up in language that makes it sound like you want THEM to be happy, it might be a little easier.

Could you say something about the expense, now that you've started planning you realize you have to get a larger limo, more flowers, etc.

likely their feelings will be hurt, even when you go with the enthusiastic fun idea, i tried that and no luck.

You should def. sit down and talk to them and see what the problem is, maybe they can't afford it and are having second thoughts... or if you haven't done much planning (dress/shoes, etc.) you could tell them (all?) that you started planning too early and are starting over... and are taking a different direction... wait a month or two, and then ask the ones you really want there.. I'm not sure, this is always a tough touchy subject. good luck! remember it's your day and you have to do what will make you happy that day.

There isn't a way. You should have thought of this earlier. at this point there's really no way to choose your least favorite three friends and fire them. live with the choice you made.

Ok well don't just say there isn't a way. Are some of them family? If so, you could say that the costs was getting too high so you decided to only use family in your bridal party. That's what I'm doing :-) I've had so many of my friends just expecting to be bridesmaids that I would feel bad picking anyone over anyone else, so I'm only going with the one MOH, and she's my sister. This way I have a legitimate excuse as to why my best friend from kindergarten isn't in my wedding. But unless some of your bridesmaids are family, I'm not sure you're going to be able to do it without hurting someone's feelings a little bit. Good luck though!

I think Celia's suggestion is best. If you've already asked there is no nice way to remove them so to speak.

Ok, edit previous comment. Unless they're blood you will offend. But if you have fam you have one option out.

If they haven't gotten dresses maybe? If they have already bought the necessary items like dresses and shoes than you really can't.

If not than maybe. It's your wedding. A lot of people might say that you shouldn't because there's no way to not offend them. And that you can't unask, but if they are real friends they'll get over it. I have a group of 13 friends I've been friends with since we were all 10/11 years old, but I'm not having ALL of them stand up at my wedding just so they don't get mad at me. Some are a little miffed that 3 of the six I'm having are from my FH's side, but they'll get over it, because a decade of friendship will overrule that slight. I'm not the first to get married out of our group either, and I didn't stand up at the other's weddings. One of them only had 3 BMs. Anyone who would prioritize themselves that highly and get so offended at not being a BM that they stop being your friend isn't really a true friend.

Sorry to go off topic... but Pan your dress is gorgeous! love it

I orginally started off with eight bridesmaids as well. I thought about that and said, no that's too many.. So I called up three people and simply told them, that I couldn't afford transportation for such a large wedding party. If they are your friends and understanding they will just say okay, that's fine. That's what my friends said to me. Just tell them and be done with it!!!

@Charlotte, Thanks.....but this was the "almost dress". I just don't have any pics up of my actual dress so the FH can't see it.

Well it’s not a good idea to ask them to step down now.....If you asked them already and they all are ready and there is nothing wrong, it’s little rude.....Just sit with them all and tell them politely that you want them all in the bridal party but you just can’t afford all of them.....And you realize this now........And ask them to do some other roles like personal attendants, MOH etc.....

And if you really don’t want to hurt any one's feeling then let them be in your bridal party as they are......Now it’s late to say anything like this to me......

IMO.....I wouldn't do it....but it's your wedding.

I had to talk with a friend that I knew couldn't afford it and totally got ripped for even bringing it up but then she bowed out 60 days before the wedding saying she couldn't handle being in the wedding party. Long story but there is really no easy way to tell someone to bow out. We are no longer friends because of this so just be prepared for any response.

At the end of the day, it is YOUR wedding. Hopefully a once in a lifetime event. Be honest and have a sit down talk with the individuals that have the "attitudes" and tell them how you feel. If your close friends are the ones that are giving you the most stress, there is a problem. I recently had a talk with one of my bridemaids concerning issues I was having with them. Once we spoke, she did not even realize how her actions were making me feel and we got through it. That is what real friends do, now were even closer then before. Hope it all works out.