How to celebrate "older" bride (soon to be step mom)

You could throw an engagement party instead of a shower. A shower is intended to shower the bride with gifts and if she isn't registered people may feel weird sitting and watching her open cards with checks/cash in them.

If you throw an engagement party there is less of a gift-giving obligation and people are more opt to gift cash/checks, alcohol, or gift cards that won't be opened and shared with all guests. Engagement parties can be anything like a brunch, a cocktail-style party or merely renting a private space in a restaurant.

Thank you MrsBdeG! You make a great point! Do you think I missed the boat on an engagement party since they got engaged in May?

Nope! I had an engagement party one month before my wedding because my husband and I were so busy and our schedules never meshed until July. As long as they are engaged, engagement parties are game :-)

Oh I recently went to a bachelorette that did urban axe throwing AND custom candle making as party of the bachelorette party. Maybe a consideration if you want to go way off the wall for party planning!

Make sure you pamper her. Do a spa day if she's into that. Or take her to a play/musical. Look up drive in movie theaters. It's about making her feel like family.

You can also kick dad out for the night and have the house for the girls only. I'm sure your dad wouldn't mind!

Thank you so much these ideas are so helpful! Glad it's not too late for an engagement party and pampering/ spa day is something she would love!

What about a bridal brunch? Essentially a shower, but without the gifts.

You've received some great ideas. I just wanted to say how nice it is for you to welcome this specials lady into your family. Whatever you decide, I'm sure she will feel very much loved.

PS - I need to call my step-mommy today

I think my bridal shower will be a wine tour of wineries in Northern Va.

I think it's really sweet of you, and I know it will mean a lot to your dad.

Fifty year old people are human too, lol.... (I can say that because I'm older.....) They might not need 'newlywed stuff" but it might be nice to start a new chapter of their life with new stuff.... like a fresh start, you know? I know when I started over, I literally had four mismatched glasses and a bunch of towels in all the colors of the black-grey rainbow.... Or throw a wine shower? (I wish someone would invent the cheese shower....) Or the recipe shower but ask people to bring something connected to the recipe, like a bundt pan or a set of spices (Penzy's makes really cute theme ones...) or maybe a subscription to the NY Times, or some publication they read. Or a membership to a local theatre or museum that people could chip in to gift them.

I was also going to say a bridal luncheon, recipe shower (if they like to cook), or even a stock the bar or wine tasting party. I'd think of something you know she likes and throw a party around that.

Honestly, you can do an engagement party really at any point in the engagement. I would do that!! That will be less focused on the gifts and more focused on celebrating the engagement.

What you are doing is wonderful. Speaking on behalf of "older" brides (I'm 56 and was married for the first time at 56 (hence, my screen name), a shower is perfectly fine, if that's what you want to do. Although I certainly had an established household on my own and when I moved in with my now husband (we lived together for 5 years before being engaged) we had doubles of some things, there was still plenty of stuff we wanted/needed (below).

All the ideas presented are great ones. Just wanted to put it out there that no one should assume they don't want or need stuff just because they aren't in their 20s.

New trash can (ours broke)

Towels (we both had old mismatched towels)

Upgrade to convection toaster oven

Cover for our Kitchenaid mixer

New coffee maker (ours was ready to go)

Coffee mill

BBQ rotisserie attachment

Popcorn seasoning kit

Guacamole keeper

cast iron pizza pan for the grill (which we use a lot)

Combo slow cooker/pressure cooker

Meat thermometer (ours had broken)

Bathroom scale

Sonos sound bar and wireless speakers

Essential oil diffuser

New salad spinner

My dil insisted on us having a shower. It wasn't traditional, it was more of a gathering and we loved it. We rec'd gifts of wine and Crown and some cute household items. Not everyone brought something tangible but good wishes were plenty.

My mom got remarried in 2009 (after being with my stepdad for 14 years lol), and I threw her a bachelorette dinner! I arranged a prix fixe menu at a great restaurant, sent paper (gasp!) invites to all her friends, and about 15 of us went out. Her friends were hilarious, they brought crotchless panties and other inappropriate things that no one ever wants to think of their mom using lmao. We had dinner, lots of wine, and lots of laughs. It was a great time, and my mom felt very celebrated!

Wow, thank you!!! I really appreciate all of the responses, I never thought I would get so many good ideas! These are all amazing

Kailee- I think its great that you are going so far to make her feel welcome and like family! I am in a similar situation I will be the "New Step Mom" of adult kids and it has been off an on with them for the nearly 8 years my FH and I have been together I would really Love it if my Future "stepdaughters" did something nice for me like this... Not holding my breath

You could do a spa day or brunch type of thing

Speaking as an older bride (41) and 2nd marriage, my FH has 2 girls, 18 and 20, so it is interesting reading this post and wondering if this is how they see me! Just because we're older doesn't mean we don't want to upgrade our household items or enjoy the shower and other wedding-related parties, traditions. I love where your heart is, though, so applaud you for that! Have you asked her if she plans to register? Or some things that might interest her?

Everyone deserves to feel special about getting married!! Hi earias, a while back I told her I wanted to throw her a shower and she said she didn't need anything (but not sure if she was just saying that- because I agree, everyone loves to get new household things!!). I think she would be so happy with any of these ideas!

OP: that's great! I wish my soon to be stepdaughters were as thoughtful as you! We're happy that the older one is coming to the wedding. . .the younger one just can't seem to make it. It hurts my FH, their dad, but the rest of his family is very supportive and we will be surrounded by loved ones. Good luck with your relationship with your new stepmom.