My friend and I are getting married the same week AND we're each other's bridesmaids. It's exciting but the truth about our friendship is that we've grown apart in recent years. I think we do value the fact that we've known each other for more than 10 years, so it's the nostalgia. I still am committed and would want to be a good bridesmaid. We made plans in April with her MOH to have her bachelorette weekend in August.
FH's sister...I've never been close to her. In fact, she has always been a passive-agressive bully to me. FH knows this. She told me I was desperate to be with her brother bc we were together so long & he never proposed (even though we were never the time to rush. I knew I would be getting engaged by the end of the year & it happened). Of course, it was MY fault that I wasn't engaged yet, not his. She told me not to tell him yet it's weird she questioned ME when I'm not the one who was proposing. Anyhoo, I could've given her a piece of my mind but she was pregnant (and no, she has this attitude when she's not pregnant).
Fast forward to now - the baby is now being baptized. FH's sister told everyone in July and it's this big event. (Wedding? What wedding?) I always found it weird too bc she trashed the Catholic church (even though she was raised Catholic) and suddenly she wanted her baby baptized and had to have this big event. She's always been attention-entitled. Anyway, the baptism is the same weekend as the bachelorette. I was torn because I already committed to the bachelorette. It was somewhat local (30 minutes-ish away), so I thought maybe when we were all the hotel, taking a break from the morning festivities (we'll be playing games), I could drive north to attend the service and then drive back but now I'm looking at it and it just seems like it would be such a hassle - at that time it will be traffic & I don't even know if I can be there on time. Then there's guilt that I would be missing out with games. When i first told my fiancé, he told me not to go because of the traffic and it's hassle. I told his sisterI, "I'll try to make it but I am my friend's bridesmaid & she's having a bachelorette party (with him there) & they both said they understood if I couldn't go. Now that its getting closer, I told him I was thinking of just staying with my friend and being there for her to help and he LOST IT. He felt personally offended and attacked that I dare NOT show up to his niece's baptism. Like I don't get why he was fine with it before. We got into a big fight & I just don't understand why he got triggered. Then we got into a bigger fight about why I don't kiss her on the cheek. Like i said, I love babies. I hold them, talk to them, hug them but I never really kiss them on the cheek, especially knowing that I'm not close to her mom aka his bully of a sister, so I guess it's more of a respect and comfort thing but I do love her. I don't know...he didn't understand comfort levels and yeah....
I don't know what to do anymore. I might not even have a FH anymore, especially if I decide not to go to the baptism...
