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Shell'a
Dedicated May 2022

How to ask someone to be your bridesmaids

Shell'a, on January 12, 2021 at 11:16 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 39
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How do you go about asking ladies to be your bridesmaids/maid of honor? Do you get them all together and ask at once with a little cute gift for each? I’m asking Bc I live out of state and when I go home to visit I want to ask the ladies, BUT the way my family is we can’t plan something and extra people won’t show up. I plan a dinner night to ask the ladies it’ll be a whole family event. So, is that okay to do it during a time other people are around? Or should it be very specific? Thankssss ♥️

39 Comments

Latest activity by Shell'a, today at 8:23 PM
  • Shelly
    Rockstar January 2022
    Shelly ·
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    I asked my ladies separately and in person! I didn't want to do it around a lot of people so they didn't feel pressured to say 'yes' to me! So I would suggest doing the same.

    I just made a box for each girl with random things inside (candle, bath bomb, ring pop, scrunchie, face mask, nail polish) then wrote them a personalized letter about what they mean to me and that I would love for them to stand by me on my wedding day.

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  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I live in MD and I had bridesmaids/bride's man in PA and NJ so I asked them when I saw them. I also choose not to do any type of bridesmaid proposal boxes. One I had to text because I wasn't sure when I would see her.

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  • M
    Super October 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Ask them privately individually in a regular conversation, whether that is in person or over the phone.


    I would not have a group event because people will be pressured to say yes on the spot without time to consider it.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I think it’s more appropriate to ask individually so that no one feels pressured to say yes. Same with gifts, I think they feel like a bribe to get them to be in your wedding. It’s more appropriate to give a gift after they’ve accepted.
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  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    My best friend sent us each bridesmaid proposal boxes since she lives out of state from us

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  • L
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I agree with Caytlyn! I'm personally not a fan of elaborate proposal boxes - I do feel like they include a pressure to say yes, since the person spent money on it. I think small tokens (such as, a small bag of candy or something similar) with a note attached would be fine though. I mailed each of my bridesmaids a customized puzzle to ask them to be bridesmaids. They all live in different states, so I couldn't ask them all in person. The puzzle was inexpensive, and in my mind, equivalent to a card with no pressure attached.
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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    I would just ask them via phone call or video chat.
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  • M
    Super October 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Agree with this.
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  • Soontobemrs
    Beginner January 2022
    Soontobemrs ·
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    I personally face timed my bridal party, My sister is my maid of honor and lives in Paris so knew I wouldn't see her for awhile with covid, my best friend I asked as soon as we were back from our trip getting engaged, my partners sister I also asked straight after getting back and my bridesman I face timed also as were in national lockdown again here in Ireland and won't see him for awhile.

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  • Shell'a
    Dedicated May 2022
    Shell'a ·
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    Okay, thank you.

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  • Shell'a
    Dedicated May 2022
    Shell'a ·
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    Do people actually say no? haha Sorry but ive never heard of this whole, not pressure anyone idea before. All of my bridesmaids are family, and my sisters.

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  • Shell'a
    Dedicated May 2022
    Shell'a ·
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    I dont think i can edit the post but my point of the question was to ask if its appropriate to ask them all together around other people or individually? All of my bridesmaids and maid of honor are my sisters and cousin. So the thought of them saying "no" is not a concern for me AT ALL.

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  • Shell'a
    Dedicated May 2022
    Shell'a ·
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    Makes total sense! Smiley heart

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  • M
    Super October 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Sometimes they really do.
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  • Shelly
    Rockstar January 2022
    Shelly ·
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    I wouldn't. There's always a chance that other people you're around will get their feelings hurt if they aren't picked to be a part of the wedding party, but have to watch the others get proposed to. Also, if I was a spectator, I would feel a little awkward.

    I'm not sure who all will be in attendance when you do that though. Like if you have a few friends that will be there, they might be upset they didn't get picked. If it's just older family members like parents, aunts, etc, then that's a different story. I wouldn't think they'd get upset about it.

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  • Nancy
    Savvy September 2021
    Nancy ·
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    I choose to tell my bridal party all together. This was all just before the start of pandemic so I decided to get everyone together since all my bridal party was family and close friends. I made boxes for each person bridesmaids, groomsmen flower girls, in-laws and my mom. I might be a little extra but I was so excited to start my wedding plans. I feel any way you choose to ask your bridal party will be special, wether it’s individual or with everyone there. Always do what makes you happy and what you want, it’s your wedding after all. Here are a few pictures of the day I asked my bridal party to be a part of my wedding and how I choose to make it special. I hope it helps How to ask someone to be your bridesmaids 1
    How to ask someone to be your bridesmaids 2

    How to ask someone to be your bridesmaids 3

    How to ask someone to be your bridesmaids 4

    How to ask someone to be your bridesmaids 5

    How to ask someone to be your bridesmaids 6

    How to ask someone to be your bridesmaids 7


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  • Elizabeth
    Dedicated October 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    I have. I did say yes initially, but then I backed out later.

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  • Shell'a
    Dedicated May 2022
    Shell'a ·
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    I literally dont have friends. lol My friends are my sisters and family. All my bridesmaids that i want are my sisters / sister in laws and one of my cousins. Yeah my family isnt the type to get "upset" or feel awkward they werent asked. In my head its something i wouldve done at a dinner or something like that. With me being out of state when i go back to visit is when i wanted to propose the question but me having one on one time with every single person isnt really a thing. My family is big and we're always with each other. I just didnt know the appropriate way to ask. But individually asking sounds a little less complicated. So ill figure it out Smiley smile

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  • Shell'a
    Dedicated May 2022
    Shell'a ·
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    What would be the reason someone would say no? lol Im postive no one i ask will since they're all my sisters, but i couldnt imagine why someone would say no, thats kinda mean.

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  • Shell'a
    Dedicated May 2022
    Shell'a ·
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    Thank you babe! You're literally the only and first one that commented something sweet, and positive. The other comments seem so problematic...

    Love the pics, congrats babe! Smiley heart

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