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Just Said Yes November 2021

How to ask politely if someone can afford to be a bridesmaid?

Jessica, on December 31, 2019 at 1:39 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 6

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One of my very closest friends from when I was a child asked me to be her MOH at her wedding, and although we aren’t as close as we once were I’ll always consider her to be like family. I want to ask her to be one of my bridesmaids, but I know she’s been struggling financially and has a second baby on the way. How can I ask her politely if she will be able to afford being a bridesmaid? The only expense I would expect her to pay would be her dress, but I know for her wedding she said $50 was too much for a bridesmaid dress. I really want her to be in my wedding but I can’t afford to pay for her dress either since me and my fiancé are paying for our wedding completely by ourselves.

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Latest activity by Jennifer, on December 31, 2019 at 1:48 PM

Just Said Yes November 2021
Jessica · on December 31, 2019 at 1:41 AM
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Just for clarification: I don’t know how much my bridesmaids dresses will be, but when I was in her wedding she wanted help picking the dresses and I found one for $50 and she said that was too much. I would gladly pay for hers for that price but not sure if I will find one that matches my style for such a good price
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Dedicated September 2021
Ashley · on December 31, 2019 at 5:10 AM
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I would probably invite her as a guest. If you know she is struggling financially I am assuming she told you that and if $50 was too much for a dress this may be beyond her means. Also babies are expensive. But if you want to ask give her an "out" if you feel you cannot ask her straight out if it would be too much of a burden for her to be a bridesmaid. You could say something like: I know you have a lot going on right now with a baby on the way I would love for you to be a bridesmaid in my wedding but would still be honored if you were to come as a guest. That way she knows you wanted her as a bridesmaid but she can make the decision .
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Super August 2021
Dierdra · on December 31, 2019 at 6:38 AM
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I completely agree with Ashley. If you guys are friends she will understand and I think the way Ashley worded above is spot on! You could also offer to pay half. If she can afford 50$ you could find a dress for 100 and pay the other 50.
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Master September 2019
Sherry · on December 31, 2019 at 8:10 AM
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I would just invite her as a guest so you don't risk hurting her feelings or ruining the friendship over it.
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Expert September 2021
Alycia · on December 31, 2019 at 8:46 AM
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I agree with Ashley. I'm not sure how particular you are with the bridesmaids dresses but she could always find a dress on consignment, I know that's where mine end up.
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VIP August 2021
Jennifer · on December 31, 2019 at 1:48 PM
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I agree with Ashley! Maybe if she does come as a guest, invite to still get ready with you the day of!
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