How to ask girls to be bridesmaids

I would agree, I waited till 11 months before the wedding. I got them all a gift with a hand written note to ask them to be in the wedding. The gift was a coffee mug with nail polish and a bottle of champagne that they had to wait to drink it with me. They all loved it! But don't do it too early, things could change.

I waited until about 10 months prior and made my own "Bridesmaid proposal box" for each of them with a simple card that just said "I can't say I do without you." I figured I would do a more heartfelt letter after the wedding. I only have 4 bridesmaids so it was pretty easy and came down to like $30per. (Which I'm kind of proud of considering some online are upwards of $50+). My matron of honor got a different one that had a couple extras.

I did it 10 months before (very recently) and asked the one I was nervous about when we were drunk. Probably not the best idea but I did remind her the next morning and she was still totally excited about it. Don't stress about the whole thing, just ask..in person if possible. But WAIT!

Don't ask until MUCH closer to the wedding. Listen to me. I am the voice of experience. I asked too early because I didn't know any better back then, and I regret it. Nothing horrible happened; I just drifted apart from one of the people. I would never, ever dream of kicking her out, but it feels a little forced and uncomfortable because we don't even see each other that much anymore. If I had waited until a more reasonable time, I wouldn't have asked her and I could have saved myself form a bit of unnecessary awkwardness.

As far as how to do it--just use your words! No grand proposal that comes off as just another chance for you to bask in the limelight and puts pressure on the target to accept even if they would prefer not to. You don't have to get any fancier than, "Friend, you are an important part of my life and I would love to have you as a bridesmaid in my wedding. Is that something that would work for you?"

You ask them in the late summer/early fall of 2017. You can either pick up the phone, take her out to dinner, or email her. I'm an advocate of asking each woman individually. Bringing them all together and presenting them with a box filled with dollar store products will do nothing but invite peer pressure, and that may cause a woman to say "yes" when she knows she can't afford the gown, the shoes, the hair, the make-up, the shower, and the bachelorette party. Asking privately respects her, because if she says, "I'd love to, but I can't afford it", then nobody will know her financial status, except you. And you'd keep that information to yourself because, after all, that's what friends do for friends. Right? If you love these women, you owe them respect, and that level of respect trumps your (needless) affair.

I just took them out to lunch and said "I would love for you to be my bridesmaid because I'm comfortable with you seeing me in awkward situations and you will tell me if my ideas are crap". They both said yes. My 3rd is my 10 yr old daughter and she didn't have a choice

I plan to do a card from zazzle, a mini bottle of wine, and a lipstick. I feel like it's not to extravagant of a gift so they can say no if they want.

ETA: I'm not asking for awhile

When the time comes, pick up the phone and ask.

In eight months, call them.

All of my girls (who I informally asked already because I originally had an earlier date during the holidays) are coffee drinkers, so I'm sending them each a personal letter and getting a customized Starbucks tumbler made for them. My sister, who is my MOH, doesn't drink coffee so I'm still trying to think of something different for her. I was originally going to get mini champagne bottles with custom labels and have a "pop the champagne" theme cause we're all champagne enthusiasts, but none of them live in my state except my sister

Honestly, wait until you mention anything to them. I waited five months after I was engaged which was eleven months before the wedding and now, my maid of honor doesn't even talk to me very much and we work right next to each other for three twelve hour shifts on the weekend. She's been my best friend for seven years so friendships you don't expect to change, will change.

For my bridesmaids that are out of town, I picked up the phone and called them. For the ones that are local, I asked in person. I didn't bother with any cutesy gifts or cards because they are unnecessary and overrated.

I waited a year and a half until I asked my girls. It drove them crazy, but trust me it's worth it to wait!! Just keep it to yourself and don't let on that you'll ask them.

You can ask anyway you please. I was literally just asked to be MOH for one of my BMs over WhatsApp. Nothing showy and not expensive, and just as special as going over the top with a brunch, or bridesmaid box.

The way I see it, you will be spending a lot of money on the wedding, and you will be getting them gifts at the end of it, so it's not really worth going all out on "proposals" but you can definitely write a hand written letter to each of them, or a small gesture like they're favorite bottle of wine or champagne and a card.

I aksed them over the phone becuase most are out of state..once they agreed then i sent out little boxes with a teeshirt , personalized shot glass , vodka, and wedding info

I would wait as PP have said. I was excited and asked mine about a year before the wedding. Most are my sisters/sisters in law but I wish I would've changed things up a bit. Nothing has changed withy relationships but I just wish I thought about it longer. I asked one on the phone, the other BMs in person and I just asked them, and my MOH I was most nervous so I did it when we were both drunk lol. Maybe not the most special but it worked and I'm not one for the big show of the Pinterest type "proposals"

I wasn't into the whole "proposal" thing myself. I just sent a text to my ladies and told them how much I love them and that I'd be honored if they would be a BMs. I also couldn't choose a MOH so I said anyone who wants to volunteer for the task can be MOH. Nobody bit so I just picked myself, again, via text.

I got little knot bracelets from Etsy with the little note inside that said "will you help me tie the knot?" They were only about $13. I invited them to dinner, orders a bottoms of champs and had them all open together. They loved it!

I asked my FSIL verbally in person to be my maid of honor, and wrote nice little cards to my two bridesmaids. I thought about getting them presents or something, but I was worried that if I spent money on it they would feel pressured to be in the wedding, so I decided against it. Went over pretty well, though, they were all very excited!

Just ask them when it gets closer to the wedding. Try to meet up with them in person to ask or if you aren't able to, give them a call. You don't need to do all of these proposal boxes and nonsense.

Don't ask them in a big group because they might feel pressured to say yes even though they may not want or be able to be a bridesmaid. This happened to me and I felt obligated to say yes to being a bridesmaid for this girl I didn't really consider a friend because she asked me at dinner when we were with all of our friends. The wedding ended up getting canceled and I was out $250 for an ugly bridesmaid dress. (Still bitter about it)

I sent these to my ladies!!