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Beginner December 2020

How to approach family that isn’t invited?!

Cassandra, on August 31, 2020 at 12:09 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

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Hello everyone!

So this has a bonus question at the end but my first question is how to handle family that isn’t invited to your wedding??
Even before the current state of the world I had not planned on inviting an uncle and his wife. We have no relationship and over the last 10 years have been around each other about 1/2 dozen times to which it was really only simple conversations. My cousin that I am close to and is invited to the wedding is also close to the uncle and his wife and she texts me every so often to tell me they KEEP asking about when the wedding is and were worried because they had not received their Save the date back in February when they were sent out. It’s because they didn’t get one! And I know I will have family expecting them to be invited but honestly I feel mostly people want to use my wedding as an impromptu family gathering and that’s not happening.. I don’t even have their phone numbers so it’s not as if I can tell them “hey you’re not on the list” so I guess it’s not a matter of what to do because no matter what they aren’t getting invited, it’s more of a what you all think about it? Or if you had similar situations?
Bonus question: what is the oddest thing you’ve been asked as a bride/groom? Mine is “what do I wear to your wedding” and it’s driving me crazy. I have attended a few weddings in my day and I have never asked what I should wear to it!
Thanks in advance!

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Shelly, on September 3, 2020 at 12:49 AM

June 2021
Dj Tanner · on August 31, 2020 at 12:15 PM
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Honestly, just tell them that as much as he would’ve loved to invite everyone, there’s just too many people, and your SO Also has family that needs to be invited too. Just explain to them that you guys had to make sacrifices on both sides. I do find it silly that people who haven’t reached out in years, all of a sudden want to be ‘so close’ when you’re having a wedding.
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Master October 2022
Jana · on August 31, 2020 at 12:17 PM
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Tell them you're only inviting a limited number for budget/space reasons. During Covid, no one should be asking that with the widely publicized venue restrictions. If someone doesn't have a relationship with you to begin with, they are very likely not going to expect or demand an invite, but there's always the random one.
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Rockstar July 2022
Lisa · on August 31, 2020 at 12:18 PM
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I agree with the previous comment - if anyone asks you directly about who is/isn't invited, I would mention that you are limited on space, so you are not able to invite everyone.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on August 31, 2020 at 12:18 PM
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I definitely didn’t invite all my family members and I never had to explain it to them but I would have also said space issue.
I always had a lot of “can I bring a date or plus one to the wedding?” But the craziest one I got was from my groomsman who obviously his wife was invited but then this fool asked “can we bring my wife’s friend too?” HE WANTED TO BRING A GUEST... why?! I hardly even know his wife let alone his wife’s friend...
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Super October 2020
Trisha · on August 31, 2020 at 12:34 PM
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I Had Someone Have My FH's Cousin Text Me Saying "Hey, So and So Misplaced Her Invite And Wants To Know If You'll RSVP For Her On Your Website." Meanwhile That Person never Even Got An Invite To Misplace Lol.
I Also Had Someone Call Me Stating They Were Trying To RSVP For Their Daughter Who Wasnt On The List.
Its Frustrating Lol I Just Tell Them Space Is Limited.
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Expert May 2021
Erin · on August 31, 2020 at 3:42 PM
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Sometimes on wedding invites it doesnt specify the kind of dress code... i have asked several friends and they didn't mind me asking for their weddings.... i ask cuz i didn't want to show up in a sun dress when it was more formal or vice versa. they are being considerate to you when they ask dress code.
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Master June 2017
Mrs. Coakley · on September 1, 2020 at 5:46 AM
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"Due to space and COVID restrictions, we have had to limit our guest list and aunt/uncle are not invited."
Also, it's my own general rule that unless otherwise stated, wedding attire is a cocktail dress
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Super October 2020
Talia · on September 1, 2020 at 2:54 PM
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I'm kind of in the same issue. My mom had a falling out with her cousins who I had sent an invite to back in December or January. Now she's seeing pictures on facebook and instagram and asking my mom's brother what's going on with my wedding. He has to answer we had to keep it small(which isn't the answer). So I would say just that you were keeping it small.
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December 2020
Shelly · on September 3, 2020 at 12:49 AM
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Covid gives you the best excuse. I agree with others to say "Due to the Covid situation and social distancing we had to cut the guest list to keep the wedding smaller than we planned." Nobody has to know the real reason they weren't invited.
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How to approach family that isn’t invited?!

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