How to address envelopes?

I agree with you. I'm not taking FH's last name either and hate that people sometimes refer to a married couple as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. I wouldn't mind either, but I'm not going to do it. I addressed my envelopes with first and last names only. John and Jessica Smith or Jessica and John Smith.

For couples with the same last name, I plan to say:

Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe

My mother always hated being referred to as Mrs. Michael LastName so it stuck with me.

For couples with different last names I plan to say:

Mr. John Smith and

Mrs. (or Ms.) Jane Doe

I addressed mine as Mr. and Mrs. John Doe only if they had the same last name!

If not, I put "Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith"

People can get offended if you assume they have the same last name!

I hate the idea of Mr. and Mrs. John Doe, even though it's traditional. It's one of those traditions that I think needs to die because it implies the woman doesn't matter. Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe is much better (if she took his name).

You can do "Mrs Wife and Mr Husband LastName" if you want to include the wife's first name. Etiquette wise, a man's first and last name should never be separated, so Mr John and Mrs Jane Doe is incorrect. "Mr and Mrs Husband's Name" is always correct, even if it feels icky from a feminist view! I spent a lot of time on etiquette at my last job since we held black tie sponsor events. Didn't want to offend anyone there!

For married couples with different last names, you join their names with "and" in one line with the wife first (or alphabetically if SS):

Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. John Doe

Unmarried couples should be listed on separate lines without being joined (again, ladies first or alphabetically):

Ms. Jane Smith

Mr John Doe

I'd just address them however you want, as long as you're totally transparent with who all you're inviting. I personally did "Mr. & Mrs. John Smith" because...I like that approach? I didn't even think twice about it but I'm not much of a 'feminist' I suppose. But idk, everyone I am inviting that is married did actually take their husbands' last names. Granted, it would be different if the couple is dating or engaged. For those, I wrote out "Mr. John Smith & Ms. Jane Brown." (Or for some cases, 'Ms. Jane Brown & Mr. John Smith' for the situation where it was a female friend and her plus 1).

Just use your best judgment. If you're not fond of the "Mr. & Mrs. John Smith" approach, feel free to take a different route. Personally, as a guest to the wedding who opened save the dates and invites, I don't pay too much attention to how someone wrote out my name. I just open the envelope because I'm anxious to find out the details of the wedding and to RSVP lol.

Just do what you want, but like PPs said, just make sure your addressing is appropriate and clear.

I personally like the tradition and formality of it, so i took the rare opportunity to follow through with that.

I did that for people I knew were married. For people who weren't I did 'Mr. Last name and Ms. Last name.

I personally don't like Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. I think it would be okay to do Mr. John and Jane Doe.

I did first and last names only. I can't stand couples being referred to as Mr and Mrs his name. My RSVPs are coming back that way from the older part of the family and it is driving me up the wall. Lol

We used first and last names, no titles:

John and Jane Doe

John Doe and Jane Smith

Sometimes we changed the order.