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Devoted September 2018

How to accomodate dearest friend that uses a wheelchair

Sarah, on June 7, 2018 at 7:40 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 23

Eek! Posting here twice in one day, so sorry... While FH and I were looking at venues, we tried to keep accessibility in mind... but apparently we made an mistake in one of our venue choices. One of my good friends from high school uses a wheelchair, and I really want him to be there. He's always...

Eek! Posting here twice in one day, so sorry...

While FH and I were looking at venues, we tried to keep accessibility in mind... but apparently we made an mistake in one of our venue choices. Smiley sad

One of my good friends from high school uses a wheelchair, and I really want him to be there. He's always been there for me, and I him, and he means a lot to me. I sent him a STD, and I was so excited when he said he plans on being at my DW.

FH and I chose to use a historic home for our reception, and I could have sworn it had a ramp in the back of the house. Well, I called the owner of the home and he said there are no ramps!

The reception is in the courtyard area behind the home, but to get to a restroom there are 4 - 9 stairs no matter which direction you go. Nuts. This is completely my fault, and I'm so upset I just had to cry about it last night.

I looked into getting an accessible portable restroom today, but that costs over $1,000, which we can't afford, and I don't even know where we could put it since the space will be taken up by the band, dance floor and dining tables. So I am trying to find a solution but haven't a clue... are there any brides or grooms that use a wheelchair here that might help me brainstorm? Or what would you want me to do if you were my friend?

I am thinking about just approaching him about it but I'm not even sure what to say without coming across as a complete boob. If I could even change the venue at this point, I would, but I'm just about 3 months out. I'm so sad about this. Smiley sad

Please be kind. I already feel like an incredibly insensitive jerk.

23 Comments

  • J
    Jana ·
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    My nephew, who is like my own son to me, is getting married in a small ceremony (60 people). I will be in a wheelchair or a walker at the time of the wedding. Since the venue is so small, I don’t want to be a distraction. This is their day. And as much as I love them both, I would refrain from attending if a clunky piece of equipment would detract from their celebration. Please send me your opinion.

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  • S
    Devoted September 2018
    Sarah ·
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    I am sorry, but I’m not sure I understand the question... how would a wheelchair or walker take away from their celebration in any way? And with having such a close relationship to your nephew, your presence at his wedding would be a HUGE addition to the celebration.


    Weddings are intended to be a celebration of love, and the best ones are evidence of love... that could only be amplified by the love of family and friends.
    Are you unsure of what your nephew or his future wife wants? If so, the only way to find out is to ask, and then you make your own decision about how to respond according to how you feel.
    But you did ask my opinion, and there it is - I would definitely want my dearest people there, if they are able to be, regardless.
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  • S
    Devoted September 2018
    Sarah ·
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    Please let me know, though, if my opinion reflects lack of understanding about the challenges YOU would face. That’s not my intention.
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