How tell father he not walking me down isle

"Dad, I'm so excited for you to come to the wedding! I've been trying to figure out who I want to walk me down the aisle, and it's been a really tough decision because all of you have been such a big part in my life. I've finally decided that I want mom to walk me down the aisle. But would you walk XXXX down the aisle for me?"

That could be a sister, a bridesmaid, etc. That way he could have a moment too, and he can be in the back of the church with you while you're waiting to walk down the aisle, but you're able to walk with your mom.

Seriously, maybe you need to word it better, but it sounds like you're punishing him for having a mental illness.

I have relatives with depression and the last thing I'd want to do is kick a person square in the 'nads while they're down. Do you know if he's expecting to walk you down the aisle?

*Aisle

Do you have to tell him? I mean, are you close enough that he expects to walk you down the aisle?

At the end of the day, it is what you want and not what anyone else wants. I would say, still make him feel included in the wedding, but at same time he will just not be walking down the Isle. I am with you on this decision because I want my big brother to walk me instead of our dad because he was not a major factor in our lives. But I will still let him walk out with the immediate family, but just not with me. So I understand you fully. It is your day and you must go with what feels right to you!

Just to clarify, it seems like you do not want him to walk you down the aisle because he wasn't very present when you were growing up and you feel closer to your mom. But recently he has been depressed, so you are worried about upsetting him with this decision. Is that correct? If so, I fully agree with VJs suggestion.

Your OP wasn't too clear. He wasn't around when you were growing up or he isn't around now do to depression? If it's the former, VJ's suggestion is good.

My father and I had a very rocky relationship growing up and have recently become closer. He will be walking me down the aisle because he's my dad and I don't want to take that moment from him. I can understand though that everyone's situations are different. Can maybe both your mom and dad walk you down together?

In my opinion, if you really insist on your mother walking you down the aisle you can have all 3 say "we do" when asked who gives this woman to this man. Prehaps have your step father on one side and your biological father on the side sitting in the first row on, both dads would be sitting directly next to the isle.

Good luck!

Why not have both mom and dad walk you down the aisle and like Lillian said have all 3 respond with "we do" that way everyone is included

Alternatively, you could walk down the aisle on your own. I told my father that being walked down the aisle to be given away is a bit antiquated, and I am not a piece of property to be given away. My fiance' and I might elect to walk towards each other to symbolize bring our lives into one, as opposed to me being given away by my dad to my future husband. It's a tradition that does not sit well with me.

^That's what I'm planning on, too! Partly because it's antiquated and I refuse to have the words, "who gives this woman to this man?" I also have a better relationship with my mom than my dad, and it would hurt fewer feelings to have no one walk me than to explain to my dad that I basically like my mom better.

I like VJ's suggestion, though. I have two little sisters (flowergirls) that my dad could walk. I just have to not be chicken and have the conversation.

It's an aisle, first of all.

Maybe you could have your mom and your dad? Clinical depression is not a choice; it'a real illness and he should not be punished for that.

I never use the words, "who gives this woman to this man"....never have.

You don't have to tell him you're not walking down the aisle with him.

Just ask your mom to be the one walking with you.

My dad has always had anger problems. When we were little he verbally abused is hints why my parents are divorced. After he wasn't forced to see us every other weekend he rarely saw me. He favorites my sister always visit her and rarely my bro n I unless we ask. His depression isn't too bad now idk just get pieces from what I'm told from my sister. But if he gets mad about something he gets mad. And the aisle of the church is small and can only fit two cause we tried last Sunday when I was there. Unless everyone is smaller and we are not the smallest people lol.